Have any questions about how to use the community? Check out the Help Discussion.

Driving Restored?

I'm very frustrated because the doctor told my DH (58) with EOAD that he should stop all driving until he could take a driving test to certify that he is still capable. We'd been going along our daily routine just fine with me driving him daily to the gym and grocery store (as he likes to get 1 item at a time).

The day finally came last week for his driving test at the DMV. They know of his diagnosis. After his test the workers were high-fiving him because he had no mistakes on his test. I was flabbergasted but I could see that he was really happy. I did ask when he would need to re-test again and their answer was not until I notice his driving getting worse.

I called our insurance company while we were still at the DMV to confirm he'd be covered and they said as long as there are no restrictions on his license they will insure him. Am I crazy to be worried about him driving again?

Comments

  • LearningCurve
    LearningCurve Member Posts: 44
    25 Likes 10 Comments 5 Insightfuls Reactions 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    IDK but look forward to reading the responses to your post. So much to learn.

  • Lgb35
    Lgb35 Member Posts: 172
    100 Care Reactions 100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Likes
    Member

    this has been an issue for me as well. If we were retired this would be so much easier but when this journey starts at a younger age and your LO is still working it adds another layer.

    We can report them to the DMV but if they pass and their license is not revoked what can you do. They are basically saying they are safe to drive.


    As a reasonable person who does know of the diagnosis you put yourself at risk if you knowingly allow them to drive so you report them to DMV praying they won’t pass. Who does the burden fall on after the DMV passes them? Who should it fall on? Why are the doctors not reporting them to DMV? Shouldn’t there be an obligation of the medical community to report it?


    it is not right to put this on the spouse. I am curious what state you live in.

  • Michele P
    Michele P Member Posts: 158
    100 Comments 25 Care Reactions 25 Likes 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    I would contact your financial advisor and attorney for advice on how to protect your assets in the event of an accident.

  • tonyac2
    tonyac2 Member Posts: 111
    100 Comments 100 Care Reactions 25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Likes
    Member
    edited October 27

    When my DH started to get lost driving to familiar places, his neurologist told him he needed to be tested for driving through a health network, not DMV. The medical driving assessment included

    • reaction-time screening
    • memory and problem solving
    • upper and lower body strength and coordination

    cognitive processing skills.

    I don’t know how in-depth the DMV test is, but If things escalate, maybe it would be worth going through a health network assessor. This is an ugly, touchy matter, but eventually my DH mind moved passed wanting to drive.

  • jgreen
    jgreen Member Posts: 31
    25 Likes 10 Comments 5 Insightfuls Reactions 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    I agree with SDiane - see if you can get his doctor involved. If your LO trusts his doctor, then a firm word from a medical professional may help.

    Our PCP told DH that he needed to let me drive him - did not tell DH to stop driving, just nicely suggested it would be best that I did the driving. So that is how I remind DH when he asks for the keys. When I say “the doctor said I should be the driver now” that seems to work. I just have to be ready to stop what I am doing and either get in the car or see if I can distract DH so he forgets he wants to go somewhere at the spur of the moment.

    Being flexible in these situations gets to be exhausting! We do understand what you are living thru, Cardenas! I know you will find something that will work for you and keep everyone safe and sound. Sending hugs and prayers.

  • Cardenas1816
    Cardenas1816 Member Posts: 22
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Insightfuls Reactions 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    I live in Texas. It's one of the states that doesn't automatically take the license away at the time of the diagnosis, much to my dismay.

  • midge333
    midge333 Member Posts: 595
    500 Comments 250 Likes 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Care Reactions
    Member

    At the suggestion of our internist, I had my wife evaluated annually by an occupational therapist who specialized in driving evaluations. She started to put restrictions on my DW, i.e., no night driving, no driving in bad weather, etc. Ultimately, I decided to not let her drive anymore. It was contentious to say the least.

  • Leesee
    Leesee Member Posts: 27
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Insightfuls Reactions 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    During his Neuropsychological exam, my DH (68 at the time) took the DCAT exam (Drivable Cognitive Assessment Tool). I was not in the room when he took the exam, but he explained that it was computerized and he had to push a button when things happened on the screen.

    He scored 89% likely to fail an on-road test and his driving was rated "Highly Affected." He also had a 79% "Probability of causing a hazardous situation on the road."

    This report was not submitted to the DMV. All that occurred was a conversation with us explaining that he shouldn't drive. It took a few months before he gave up driving on his own. During this time we sold his car and he was not allowed to drive mine and I reminded him why.

    It took a year before he stopped asking every Dr. when he could start driving again.

  • 3'sacharm
    3'sacharm Member Posts: 10
    25 Care Reactions First Comment First Anniversary
    Member

    I told my husband's neurologist that I thought he should stop driving. She requested a driving evaluation from an occupational therapist. It consisted of lengthy cognitive testing as well as a road test. He failed the cognitive test with flying colors but passed the road test (according to him). The occupational therapist notified the DMV and he had to surrender his license. This put the burden of taking away his keys on his neurologist and the occupational therapist. The testing that an occupational therapist does is very different from a test at the DMV.

  • Cardenas1816
    Cardenas1816 Member Posts: 22
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Insightfuls Reactions 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    Our neurologist gave him a choice of DMV or computerized test. He opted for DMV since he's not great with technology now. In hindsight we should've gone with the computerized test first. I'm communicating now with his neurologist to see what we should do now.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more