Transitioning to senior living facility

welcome. Unfortunately I do have some experience with this. Most of my experience is with what doesn’t work. Mom did not want to move to Al or later to the nursing home. My brother insisted mom be told weeks in advance for both moves. She was so stressed and upset about the move she was an absolute mess. She made lists, packed random things she didn’t need, he even took her to the store to by things she didn’t need. On the day of both moves she had boxes all over and we had no idea what was in them. She pointed to boxes she wanted loaded and when we got to her new place I sifted through them in the back of my suv and pulled out only the things she needed. My brother and I got in a big fight. He said if she packed it it must be something she needs (I guess he expected us to bring paper plated, napkins and a cupcake recipe book in to the nursing home). It was a nightmare. Months after the move she is still talking about all the stuff she had packed that she still needs. Susan’s suggestion that you make up an excuse for the move is an approach I have read about often here. My sibling did not believe in lying to mom, even if it would keep her from getting stressed out and upset. I think the idea of moving and setting up the room without her sounds so much less stressful, for you and her. You know your mom best. It might work to just tell her the day of the move. Tell her you will drive her there and that another sibling is going to load up some basic for the new place. Tell her you can bring the rest later. This worked with my mil. Two of us stayed with mom at the new facility, one daughter packed up boxes from her apartment and the two guys loaded everything into a trailer and brought it in. My sil and I helped mom (a lot) decide we’re things should go and hung pictures. This was very stressful for her, but she made it through. When we were done she said how happy she was that everything from her 3 bedroom apartment was able to fit in her very small Al apartment (of course it didn’t and we later had an estate sale, but she never missed anything). There is no right answer here. You just do what you think will work best for her and hope for the best. I hope it goes well.