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MC to Nursing Home

hiya
hiya Member Posts: 138
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in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

my DH has been in MC for 5 months. He has declined substantially. He now can’t name objects, unsteady in feet, sometimes incontinent/BM so in depends, can’t understand to put medication in mouth, resistant to bathing/shaving/depends change. He wonders in and out of residents rooms as he can’t find his. I was just told he has been given 30 days notice due to declining care. I’m shocked. My search for nursing homes has me wondering if there is a right fit. The cost is shocking. Most are not secure facilities and have a mixture of dementia and long term care residents. After explaining situation to places, I’ve been told he has to accept care and cannot wonder into residents rooms. I’m not sure if that will happen. I’m petrified he won’t be able to stay anywhere. What can you do?

Comments

  • BikingOldMan
    BikingOldMan Member Posts: 50
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/257212#Comment_257212

    May I ask what state you’re in? I’ve not heard about Medicaid after a year of private pay

  • easy23
    easy23 Member Posts: 420
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    edited October 2025
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/257215#Comment_257215

    In my state you need to spend down your assets to qualify for medicaid.

  • jfkoc
    jfkoc Member Posts: 5,228
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    A MC facility should be able to take care of what you describe. I fear that what is lacking is staff training. Please take a look at the contract and see if it includes kicking out a client and if so the conditions which allow it.

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 6,738
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/257215#Comment_257215

    Cobbling onto what @easy23 said, many of the nicer facilities operate under a policy that accepts patients who can self-pay for a year or two before they have spent down to the point Institutional Medicaid will cover their costs while their spouse remains a "community spouse". This varies by state, so seeing an elder law attorney where you live is critical.

  • tboard
    tboard Member Posts: 301
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/257212#Comment_257212

    My DH was fortunate to get into a program where they experiment with various drugs to lower anxiety and the aggressive behavior he displays to care givers. It seems to have worked and he goes to memory care next week. Yes it is expensive and we will pay with r retirement accounts. Alzhiemer's is a horrible disease.

  • Michele P
    Michele P Member Posts: 483
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    What you are describing is common for patients in memory care. They are placed there for all of these reasons. The facility should be able to handle all of this as long as your loved one is not aggressive to staff. Look for another facility. The situation would be much worse- need for nursing care- to place in a nursing home.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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