Approved for hospice

Cat K · November 2

DH has had palliative care since early this year. At the last visit 10/29/25, the nurse told me he is at 6e on the FAST scale. She called me the following day and said he now qualifies for hospice. I told her I would call her back to let her know if I want to sign him up. I know it's my decision, but I wanted to know what others think. No, what I really want is for someone to make the decision for me. What I really, really want is a do-over and not go through this. Anyway, I'm asking this wonderful group of people, who know exactly what I'm going through, for opinions. Thanks.

persevere · November 2

I just put my wife under hospice. It made me (and it will you) really have to take stock of how you’ll handle the ‘what if’ scenario. They won’t require it but they will encourage you to sign a do not resuccetate order that will then be signed by a dr. You will have that with you at all times or leave it for someone who may be watching your LO. Hospice is not curative. If your DH has a stroke or heart attack you make the decision to let nature take its course or pull him off hospice and seek treatment. DNR means no CPR. I guess this is where it gets more real than it already is. You are doing the right thing. And your heart will make the right decisions at the time of need.

Cat K · 12:47AM

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/257540#Comment_257540

Thank you for your post. I already have a DNR signed by his PCP. I'm shocked at how much he has deteriorated in just the past year, how feeble he has become. I guess it's time for hospice.

terei · 1:53AM

We are all ‘terminal’. You can decide whether to extend his suffering or not. That is the way I look at it.

SDianeL · 4:26AM

So sorry you are at this point. Hospice offers so much. They have counselors and clergy you can talk to. I would use their services. They will reevaluate every 6 months. 💜

Vitruvius · 5:37AM

My DW has been on hospice for two years. I have seen no downside to hospice. Hospice provides much more help than palliative care.

It is true that with hospice you agree to forego curative treatment, but you can change your mind at any time and take your LO off hospice if you want such treatment. But frankly with my DW, after she reached Stage 7, I see no benefit to trying to cure other comorbidities should they arise. It could only serve to prolong her abject misery.

Cat K · 3:25PM

Thank you all for your comments. I value your opinions and support. This site has helped me so much. I know in my heart that it's time for hospice. Hospice will provide more resources for him, as well as myself, according to the palliative care nurse. Again thank you. 💙

midge333 · 3:36PM

Why would anyone want their spouse with severe dementia (stage 6 & 7) to undergo CPR or artificial life support? Even if successful, you are only prolonging suffering from a terminal illness…

Cat K · 5:58PM

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/257581#Comment_257581

My thoughts exactly. I have a DNR for him, and one for myself also.

CindyBum · 6:06PM

I'm so sorry you're at this stage, CatK. You do know your heart and we support you.

I had never seen the FAST scale. Damn. My DW is at 6d.

Approved for hospice

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