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My Mom passed away October 5th 2025

Istoppedescaping
Istoppedescaping Member Posts: 118
Ninth Anniversary 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
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in Supporting Those Who Have Lost Someone

Hello, I dreaded the day I would be on this side of the discussion title. It's been two months and I am in unbelievable physical pain, I resigned from a easy job, am in debt, no insurance, searching for a new religion, I have fear, terrible anxiety, had a few panic attacks, am confused, hated people and do not trust anyone. Today I started reading the Twelve Insights into Grieving after the Death of your loved one. Insight #3, hit it on head, I am grieving. I read something in the Bible about being with other people who are grieving for support. That's why I am back here. I need the people from here who supported me during the 8 years of seeing my mom deteriorate. Thanks you and may God bless you all. ✌️❤️🙏

Comments

  • fmb
    fmb Member Posts: 589
    500 Care Reactions 250 Likes 500 Comments 100 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    ((((hugs))))

    We are here for you. I'm praying for you.

  • JulietteBee
    JulietteBee Member Posts: 406
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    The Bible says we are to "Bear one another's burdens." You must share it if you need others to help you bear it. Come often and share whatever you feel comfortable sharing. We will listen and offer whatever words of comfort you may be in need of.

  • Istoppedescaping
    Istoppedescaping Member Posts: 118
    Ninth Anniversary 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/260008#Comment_260008

    Thanks so much. You are so right. I will. I really hated two family members who kept her alive for so long without Hospice. I have forgiven them but need to keep forgiving them. It's the holidays and I will see them and give them gifts. Thanks 🙏🏼

  • JulietteBee
    JulietteBee Member Posts: 406
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    edited December 2025

    @Istoppedescaping, you are most welcome!

    Yes, forgiveness is vital. Most people think the forgiven party is the party who benefits most from being forgiven. That is incorrect.

    The person who forgives, benefits the most. It frees our heart and mind from the hurt and pain that is seeking to destroy us.

    Happy Holidays and may you find the true Source of your strength, in this, your time of grief. 🫂💙🫂

  • Sunfish47
    Sunfish47 Member Posts: 49
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    This is the circle of life. My mom has been gone from life since 2014 but she’s always close by in my mind and heart. If she comes up in conversations with people, my eyes still tear up even after these many years, and it’s hard to speak. I took care of her for her last 9 years without sibling support (brother and sister just didn’t care) and I came to admire her incredibly strong will to live. Her last 3 years were clouded from dementia but she still enjoyed my presence. She knew me til the end and I held her hand for her last breaths. The many years of care giving were hard on me but looking back i wouldnt trade them for anything. I am a stronger person for it. I will always miss her, in her lucid moments she loved me unconditionally. Grief is the price we pay for love, but without love we really have nothing.

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 3,097
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    edited December 2025

    FYI- you determine who you see this Christmas. If you don’t feel like going to a gathering or dealing with relatives , then don’t go. As people say - No is a complete sentence. I can’t exchange gifts this year is another. Feel free to text these rather than interact. Many of us here have disconnected from relatives who were either unsupportive, unhelpful, absent or disruptive during this journey. My sisters were some of those people.

    Having lost a son, step-father, mom and most recently a sister ( all in 2.5 years), I’ve discovered that I am a changed person. I’m not equipped to deal with people I don’t want to deal with. I’m not going to apologize for that, I’m going to do what I need to for my emotional wellbeing.

    Please do get help with dealing with your grief in a way that isn’t damaging to your own wellbeing

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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