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Moving to a Care home.

Big Papa2760
Big Papa2760 Member Posts: 19
10 Comments 25 Care Reactions 5 Likes First Anniversary
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in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

My DW is being moved to a care home. She constantly screams at me. She has been in the hospital for 5 days now. Tomorrow she will be moved to a care home. Today I got her bed etc. moved to the care home. Tomorrow the hospital will move her to the care home. I'm so tired, drained and hurt. She spent most of the day hollowing at me and telling me what a horrible person I was because I'm abandoning her and then screams at me that she wants a divorce. How can you not be hurt by this. I'm sorry I'm exhausted and just need to go to sleep. thanks for letting me vent.

Comments

  • Goodlife2025
    Goodlife2025 Member Posts: 283
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    Hugs to you Big Papa, I hope you are able to get some much needed rest and sending your a big virtual hug for what was a really hard day, on top of a really hard week, on top of it all……..

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 727
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    Life shouldn’t be this hard but for some of us it is. What terrible things you are going through. Hopefully you will be up for some rest and peace very soon. Hugs.

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 1,688
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    I’m so sorry you have to go through this. The mental game dementia plays on our loved ones and in turn us caregivers is horrible, soul crushing, and heartbreaking.

  • wose
    wose Member Posts: 366
    500 Care Reactions 250 Likes 100 Comments Second Anniversary
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    I’m thinking hard about that myself. I know I probably can’t pull the trigger. but I am so with you Big Papa! The verbal beat downs all day are so awful. Let us know how it went and how you are doing. Be gentle and kind to yourself, you are doing your best. I hope you can get some peace and rest now.

  • annie51
    annie51 Member Posts: 598
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    It’s so hard not to take these things to heart. You can only take so much. You’re doing the right thing for both of you, but that doesn’t make it easier. Hope you get some rest and recharge yourself. Our hearts are with you!

  • sandwichone123
    sandwichone123 Member Posts: 1,186
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    I hope you are planning to take some time off, perhaps a couple of weeks, to allow her to settle in to the new environment and build relationships while you recover and perhaps check in by phone with the nurse to see how she's doing.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 3,131
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    I’m so sorry. It’s the terrible disease talking. I hope she settles in quickly and they get her calm. Get some rest. Hugs. 💜🙏

  • JulietteBee
    JulietteBee Member Posts: 406
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    💔🫂💔

  • tboard
    tboard Member Posts: 248
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/74779/moving-to-a-care-home

    I am sorry you are going through this. I am slowly learning how to blame the disease and not my DH. None of this is our spouses fault.

  • Metta
    Metta Member Posts: 119
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    Nothing about this disease is easy. Whether we keep our LO at home or place them in care, it is heartbreaking. I wish you strength and that your DW settles well to give you peace.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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