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My beloved is declining

Frannie Lindsay
Frannie Lindsay Member Posts: 1 Member
in I Am a Caregiver (General Topics)

Jacob (pseudonym) has been declining in the past few weeks. We are not married; I use the term "beloved" because we were destined for each other, and I will be with him until the end. I am so scared.

he forgets conversations and events almost as soon as they happen; He is deeply traumatized by this and cries easily.

Jacob is still very present and involved with his friends and social life. I am grieving, I could not love him more and dread the day — we both know it will come — when he no longer knows me.

RIght now, we are living one day at a time with a great deal of love. But I do feel alone; my friends grow weary of hearing about remy sorrow, so I try not to talk about it. I am very, very stressed.

Thanks for reading, Frannie

Comments

  • Jgirl57
    Jgirl57 Member Posts: 806
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    Member

    Welcome and I am sorry about your beloved . Glad you found our forum and post anytime to ask questions or just unload your feelings. Be sure you have the legal paperwork in order if you have not done so yet. You and your beloved might benefit from a memory cafe in your area. It is for PWD and their caregiver ( friend, family member or care companion) It is a way to get and share information and meet others in your locale. Google Memory cafe and see if there is one near you . They meet 1-2 times per month in various locations . You will attend with them and it usually is about a 1-2 hour program. All of this can be very stressful

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 3,217
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    Member

    Welcome Frankie. Sorry about your LOs decline. I recommend the book “The 36 Hour Day” and online dementia caregiving videos by Tam Cummings or Teepa Snow. Search online for the 7 Srages of Dementia that lists behaviors in each stage. It helped me be more prepared when new behaviors came up. We understand how you feel. This forum helped me so much after my husband’s diagnosis. What you’re experiencing is anticipatory grief. It’s common for caregivers to feel that way. This disease takes so much from us. Come here often for info and support. You are welcome to post in the section for spouses so you will get more responses. Hugs. 💜

  • Victoriaredux
    Victoriaredux Member Posts: 136
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    Member

    I've found that down the road your LO may not longer remember the today you and may think that you are someone from their past but if that is someone they cared about and felt comfortable with back then —then they are remembering what they feel about you and it makes them feel safe today.

    I file that as a win.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

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