Showering

PoshJock · January 5

I’ve been trying to get my dh to take a shower for almost two weeks now. When asked if he wants a shower he’s usually agreeable, I wash his back and then he is able to wash himself, however, this past couple of weeks he has either refused to shower, or as soon as he’s ready to enter the shower he gets irritated and then walks away. Suggestions and/or advice welcome.

Jo124c · January 5

Does he seem to be in pain? Sometimes there is a UTI present and PWDs might not be able to tell about it…don't know if he could tell you if he had pain…just a thought.

SDianeL · January 5

welcome. Glad you found this forum but sorry for the reason you are here. Read the book “The 36 Hour Day” which explains why they don’t want to shower. It helped me with many things after my husband’s diagnosis. They don’t want to shower because they forgot how, they think they just showered, there are many steps to showering, they are afraid, the water actually hurts them, they are cold, they are afraid of falling, they are embarrassed. There are online videos by Tam Cummings or Teepa Snow that give tips. I told my husband that Wed. & Sun. were “our” shower days. Right after breakfast when he was usually in a good mood, I would get everything ready for him and turn on warm water. I would tell him it’s Wednesday and your shower is ready. Most of the time it worked. If not I told him he could wait until tomorrow. He would usually go take it that same day. Get a bath seat for the shower and a hand held wand, make sure the room is warm. Give simple instructions for each step. Go slow. Some caregivers shower together with their LO. If all the tips fail, get the bath wipes that don’t require rinsing and use those. A bidet also comes in handy as they become incontinent.

Chris20cm · January 5

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75018/showering

Here's what works for me, getting DW to shower. "I'm going to take a shower. Would you like to go first?" She always says, "I'll go first." Then I get the shower going and leave the bathroom door partially open and tell her to call me if she needs help. If she's in there more than five minutes or so, I go to the door and ask if she's ok.

Dio · January 5

Sorry I have no solutions. It was WWIII every time—shower, wash up, brush teeth, change out of soaked to the gill diapers and soiled clothing, denying the stench … it was a nightmare, claiming he had "already done this already, why are you doing this to me?" He got violent at the mcf as well until the right medication was prescribed to calm his brain. None of the Teepa Snow or other experts' tips worked on him.

Momx3 · January 7

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/262751#Comment_262751

Can I ask what kind of medicine they prescribed that helped with this…I'm having the same issue with my DH.

PoshJock · January 7

Thanks to you all for the kind words and suggestions. SDianeL, I do in fact have the book (probably time to actually read it 😊).

I’ve tried a few of the suggestions given, but will continue to keep trying.

I do have a different perspective on the subject after discussing with his PCP yesterday; I was asked if he has an odor or any skin issues; he does not, so it was suggested that I should not have this battle; use a washcloth to clean the necessary areas and let him take showers whenever he wants to. See how this goes.

persevere · January 8

You can buy disposable sponge sheets. You wet them and wipe him down with it and just towel dry. They use them in hospitals. Not as good as a shower but they work pretty good. They also make disposable shampoo caps. I have some but haven’t tried one yet on DW. Right now I have hospice and the aid has been great in getting her in the shower (although today was very difficult). When I need to do it myself I just get in with her. Not always easy but she usually capitulates. Also, a shower hose is a must in my opinion. You have better control of where you want water to go.

JDancer · January 8

The shampoo caps work well.

annie51 · January 8

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/262936#Comment_262936

I can’t answer for Dio but MC had the same issue with my DH. He was on Risperidone and Depakote. But if he was particularly combative when they tried to shower him, they gave him a Xanax, waited a bit, then tried again.

Chance Rider · January 8

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/262951#Comment_262951

My husband has gone as long as 6 weeks without showering, and often 4 weeks. He doesn’t have body order, no skin issues, so I simply don’t push it. It makes life so much easier and causes him far less stress. I’ve told his doctors and no one has been concerned. If/when it becomes a need I’ll use the rinseless disposable wash cloths.

Dio · January 9

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/262936#Comment_262936

It was the MCF director's recommendation to add Depakote in sprinkles form to calm the brain. He says in his experience only the sprinkles form worked but doesn't know why. It did take about 6 weeks to work and only in conjunction with seroquel or another atypical antipsychotic med. Please note that this doesn't work for everyone or other types of dementia induced violence. My DH has LBD.

Showering

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