Counseling for Mom

katmcgee · January 8

Hello all,
I am trying to find Counseling for my mom who is now caring for my dad who has Alz. They are both in assisted living because she would not send him without her.

She is depressed and would like to see a Counselor. I am having a hard time finding a Counselor that specializes in Aging/Caregiver support that I may take her to so she can talk through some of the things that are making her so sad. We are very close, but she is not one to complain and feels like she is constantly complaining to me. :(

I reached out to the Department of Aging and Disability Services, but they said they only send out assistance if they need it in the home, dressing, bathing, etc...I also reached out to her Primary Care Physician, but they don't have any type of list of Counselors for this specific population (???). Seems to me this population is so underserved. :(

Any help is very much appreciated.

harshedbuzz · January 8

@katmcgee

In a similar situation, I got mom connected with a psychiatrist in a large practice who prescribed much needed medication and assigned her a talk therapist. I also brought her to the local Alz support group meeting.

Having her meds adjusted helped, the therapist wasn't a great fit, and the support group seemed to be most useful. I think it was the connection with peers vs an adult daughter.

A local support group may have some names of folks others have been happy with. Psychology Today has lists of counselors and therapists that list areas of interest. You could try calling larger mental health practices or memory centers to get some ideas as well.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

HB

Lgb35 · January 9

I am talking with someone virtually. I wanted someone who understood the caregiver role and there was nobody close to the house.

Lgb35 · January 9

Call me Gram · January 9

When my DH first started having memory issues, I was constantly in panic mode. I knew that would take a toll on my health, so I called my PCP first and then I called a local counseling center that has multiple locations. I specifically asked for someone who was experienced in counseling caretakers, preferably caretakers of PWD.

My counselor has been a blessing! I meet with her in person, but she will also meet virtually if needed. I prefer in-person, as I can talk freely in her office. I am not often able to speak freely at home.

You are such a caring daughter to be concerned about your mother this way. I hope you are able to find her some help and relief. Take care of yourself, as well.

SDianeL · January 10

I haven’t used this but found it online. You can search for therapists by state who do counseling for Geriatrics. Psychology Today. Not sure how up to date it is. Please keep us posted. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/psychiatrists?category=elderly-persons-disorders

Anna2022 · January 10

I found my therapist who specializes in helping people who are care-givers for those with dementia by happenstance. I was talking to my financial advisor about planning for my DH's future care and he mentioned that his business partner was going thru similar issues with her mother. He put us in contact with each other and she gave me the name of her therapist. I've now been "seeing" that therapist online for 3 years. Therapy has been a life-saver.

A few suggestions: Look to your network and ask for help from those who know this dementia world- your financial advisor, your elder care lawyer, people in the local ALZ support group, other friends and family. Word of mouth still works. Also, most therapists these days are advertising online - on Psychology Today and other similar platforms. You can search on those platforms using terms like elder, caregiver, geriatric, etc., then read the description of the therapists work. You can also search for therapists who take your insurance and who offer In-person or online appointments. It's OK to set up an introductory appointment and interview therapists. It's also OK to go for a few sessions and then decide it's not a fit. Just tell them why you are quitting. Most therapists will definitely understand - you don't have to protect them from the truth.

Counseling for Mom

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