Can’t communicate

Atingle · January 19

My wife is in later stages Alzheimer’s and can’t communicate properly anymore. She speaks to me and I can’t understand what she wants. Likewise she struggles to make sense of anything I say. How do you cope with this? It’s exhausting.

jgreen · January 19

Hello, @Atingle and welcome. I am sorry you have to be here, yet glad you found this wonderful group.

I am not sure what you mean by ‘later stages’. I am attaching a tool where you can look at the behaviors your DW exhibits and try to determine the stage.

Dementia Behavioral Assessment.pdf

If you find your DW is indeed in stage 6 or beyond, you might contact Hospice to do an assessment - it is covered by insurance. If your DW qualifies, they have counselors and clergy along with nurses and aids who can help you deal with the later stages. They may also have suggestions for respite care for you.

I hope this helps. Do check back in with us.

annie51 · January 19

I went through this with my DH also. It’s called aphasia and is very common. Most of what he said made no sense. It’s tiresome and frustrating for both of you. If he was just making comments or statements I just pretended I knew what he said and picked a reply that I thought might work, like “yes that’s true” or “really, I didn’t know that”, etc., anything to indicate I was listening to him - that’s the important thing. If he wanted something or wanted me to do something, I tried to clarify what I thought he meant but this was harder. If I was wrong, he would get irritated but then if I could redirect him in some way he would forget about it quickly. He often spoke like this to other people (both friends and strangers) and most were very patient and attentive. I could sometimes “translate” or make a comment similar to what he was talking about. It got easier as time went on.

Kat63 · January 19

So sorry you are at this stage with your wife. Unfortunately this is an indication of the late stage. My DH has been using made up words for over a year and doesn’t understand most of what I say to him. I know his routine and can guess at what he wants or needs a lot of the time. I also use hand gestures to help with communicating what I want him to do, like show him the chair is want him to sit in and patting the seat part to have him sit down. I agree with asking for a hospice evaluation. They can be so helpful and supportive for you and your wife. We have had hospice on board for a year and a half. You can call them directly or ask your doctor about hospice.

Can’t communicate

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