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Relieved, sad, brutalized, and bewildered

PlentyQuiet
PlentyQuiet Member Posts: 146
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edited January 23 in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

My spouse passed away yesterday.

Diagnosed with MCI/EOAD after a spinal tap 11/2021 age 61
Hospice 6/2025 age 65
Died at home 1/21/2025 age 65

Early onset can go fast, but that young heart can keep going at the brutal, brutal end. 6 days with no food or water, 2 days of agonal gasping. Excruciating.

I am so glad it is over for him. He is no longer a person with Alzheimer's. He has left behind the body that betrayed him and robbed our family of his laughter. He is off on new adventures and the kids (all in their early 20s) and I will take baby steps towards rebuilding and healing.

This is a stupid, ugly, rotten disease that no one deserves.

67294564616__57A02BD3-5B2E-48E5-B714-A4FAB795A139.JPG

Comments

  • BPS
    BPS Member Posts: 469
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    I think your title says is all.

    Peace and rest to you and to your husband.

  • MaryMN
    MaryMN Member Posts: 54
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    He sounds like a wonderful man. Wishing you and your family peace and strength as you navigate the end of this awful journey.

  • RetiredTeacher
    RetiredTeacher Member Posts: 357
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    Sending hugs snd prayers for you and your family

  • Chance Rider
    Chance Rider Member Posts: 280
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    I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. My thoughts are with you and your family as you begin healing.

  • beachwalker5
    beachwalker5 Member Posts: 12
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    When I look at that photo, I see a cool charming friendly looking dude that I bet was a fun guy to hang out and share a beer and a few laughs with. May the memories of the good times in earlier days stay with you in your transition. Wishing you peace and better days ahead.

  • Kat63
    Kat63 Member Posts: 214
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    So sorry for the loss of your DH. May your good memories comfort you and your family.

  • Vitruvius
    Vitruvius Member Posts: 459
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    I agree wholeheartedly with your assessment of this awful disease. My sincere condolences and sympathy. I wish you peace, strength and healing in the days ahead. Your DH does look like a fellow I would like to have known.

  • troubledone
    troubledone Member Posts: 60
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    https://chat.whatsapp.com/IyfD6t2EHeFB11LOSye1eI


    link to join our WhatsApp support group.

  • Jgirl57
    Jgirl57 Member Posts: 814
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    RIP……, Hugs to you and your family

  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 977
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    a beautiful photo. I’m so sorry for your family’s loss as well as your husband going through what he did.

  • wose
    wose Member Posts: 366
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    I’m so very sorry for your loss. Such a wonderful precious picture to hold in your heart.

  • tonyac2
    tonyac2 Member Posts: 251
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    I am so sorry for the loss of your dear husband. I pray you and your family find peace and comfort.

  • Marla13
    Marla13 Member Posts: 61
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    I am so sorry.

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 6,424
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    I am sorry for the loss of your dear husband and the father of your children. Wishing you strength and peace as you move forward.

    Thank you for sharing that lovely picture.

    HB

  • annie51
    annie51 Member Posts: 632
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    I am so sorry for the grief that you are going through now. I, too, am glad for my DH that his struggle is over. He would not want to live that way and I’m sure your love would not either. I love that picture of him. Hugs and peace for you.

  • jgreen
    jgreen Member Posts: 333
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    May Perpetual light shine upon your DH; and may he rest in peace.

    God bless you and your family.

  • CMC62
    CMC62 Member Posts: 34
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    I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you and your family peace going forward.

  • ronda b
    ronda b Member Posts: 388
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    Your title is perfect. So sorry for all your loss.

  • marier
    marier Member Posts: 145
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    What a great picture of your DH. I agree with your assessment of this awful disease. Sending you hugs and prayers. Take care of yourself as you walk thru this time of grief and embrace yourself with your family and loved ones.

  • Dio
    Dio Member Posts: 909
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    So sorry for your loss…but glad the suffering is over for both of you. Please find comfort in the days ahead.

  • blacksparky
    blacksparky Member Posts: 238
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    My heart goes out to you. My DW was diagnosed in 2023 with EOAD at the age of 53. She has since progressed to stage 6 now. It seems to happen faster with EOAD for whatever reason. Stay strong as you go through stage 8 and remember we are all here for you. By the way, we lived several years in Minnesota and your DH ‘s choice of beer has always been my favorite. ❤️

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 3,269
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    So sorry for your loss. His suffering is done. May he rest in peace. Praying for your strength and comfort in the coming days. 🙏

  • White Crane
    White Crane Member Posts: 1,171
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    Thank you for the picture of your dear husband. I hope you can remember the good times you had with this dear man. I'm sorry for your loss.

  • GothicGremlin
    GothicGremlin Member Posts: 1,455
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    I am so sorry @PlentyQuiet on the loss of your husband. That's such a wonderful photo you posted of him! So … jaunty.

    Early onset is a bear. My sister was 58 when she was diagnosed and she passed away 5 1/2 years later in 2024. It goes so fast it just makes your head spin.

    Wishing you and your family rest and peace in the upcoming months.

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 757
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    What a great photo showing all the joys of life. It's a sad rotten disease that none of of us should have to go through. Wishing you peace and the joy of finding joy in the past and joy in the future.

  • Karen711
    Karen711 Member Posts: 251
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    He is no longer a person with Alzheimer's. He has left behind the body that betrayed him and robbed our family of his laughter. He is off on new adventures and the kids (all in their early 20s) and I will take baby steps towards rebuilding and healing.

    Amen to your words, I'm so sorry for your heartbreaking loss! 💜

  • Goodlife2025
    Goodlife2025 Member Posts: 324
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    Thank you for sharing your story and timeline. EO is going fast for us as well. May you and your family be surrounded with an out pouring of love and supports as you begin this next stage.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

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