Tonight

Momx3 · January 17

As I sit here tonight at 9:56pm I think I have had a really rough evening with my DH….but I know what I think is bad now really isn’t. He is probably in early stage 5 and I know there are so many worse days/nights coming. I try to remind myself that really we are still fairly normal compared to what many are going through now. I don’t know why I feel that I should even post this, but I guess just to say even when I feel we are suffering unfortunately there are so many others enduring so much more than we. God Bless you all who are walking this long hard road with your loved one. And most importantly thank you to all who have shared their stories on here so that me and those like me have a resource that helps us navigate this journey.

SDianeL · January 17

🙏💜

harshedbuzz · January 17

@Momx3

IME, you're in what was the worst stage of dementia for dad and his caregivers. His considerable cognitive reserve meant stages 5 and early 6 were hell. Hell for him because he had the wherewithal to suffer his loss of autonomy and independence. Hell for mom because he maintained enough bandwidth to be really nasty.

It was far easier when he progressed to the point his fight was gone. Sure, there were different issues, but in many respects it was easier.

HB

jgreen · January 17

Dear @Momx3

I feel the same way as you. There are so many who are in much worse situations. I too pray for all of us. Prayers and this wonderful forum are my lifeline.

Take care! Hugs 💝

annie51 · January 17

I think it’s perfectly normal to feel the anger, frustration and sadness even though you are earlier on and you know things will get worse. This disease is hard at ALL stages - it’s just hard for different reasons. Each new behavior or stage brings its own challenges that you have to adjust to, learn to deal with, and finally accept. You WILL get through this - this forum will help you tremendously when you feel you’re at the end of your rope, whatever stage you’re in.

Chance Rider · January 17

@Momx3 and @jgreen

I feel the same way. My husband is probably early stage 5 and I know others are in more difficult situations. My husband’s anosogosia makes it challenging as his anger and anxiety stem from thinking he can do things that he truly cannot, and from lack of cognition. I’ve often wondered , as @harshedbuzz mentioned, if it will be easier when there’s less fight left in him. Different stages, different challenges.
Hugs to everyone going through this horrible journey.

Maru · January 17

Gosh, I can really relate. DH is Stage 4 at times, sometime 3 and most of the time is perfectly normal. He had a lot of mental reserve on board before all this so he can mask ALLZ pretty well…until the moments or days when he can't. At least half the time, I wonder if he was misdiagnosed. Regardless of what stage he is or isn't in, I still bear responsibility for everything and I still have to double check whatever he says that he took care of because maybe he did and maybe he just thought he did. I know that these are the easy days. God bless all caretakers.

CindyBum · January 17

Well, for me…Each stage sucks in its own unique, but always heartbreaking, way.

Hang in there and big hug.

Biggles · January 18

I just posted feeling ‘tired’ and felt a bit pathetic aswell because I know there are many more suffering in a worse off position than me. This site is so good because you can vent and never feel bad about it. We are all just (super) human and can only take so much. Watching and living with our LO as they deteriorate is exhausting and sad. Your post helps us all realise that we are not alone. Thank you for sharing.

Momx3 · January 19

Thank you all for the comments and support…it means more than these words can express.

Clarefs · January 22

my DH told me this morning "Your the problem." it hurts, I am prepping for a lunch with my brother (stage 4 prostate cancer) and SIL. My DH has retreated to his wood working shop where I have hung a sign saying "(Name) is home" the flip side says "(name) is not home". He cut his thumb on his table saw for the second time. He will not stop using it. "What would I do?" he askes. He does his shop stuff and watches TV. All I ask is he not use it when I am not home. He's on blood thinners so the bleeding is impressive. The cuts have not been terrible but they could be. I am not the problem but this mid-stage AZ is not easy.

Momx3 · January 22

Oh wow, that is so scary! My husband is constantly wanting to get on the tractor and do things…so far I've been able to stop him..

RetiredTeacher · January 23

My husband was a wood worker too. I'm very thankful he no longer uses any of his power tools. His fine motor skills and coordination have gotten so bad, he struggles getting twist ties off of bread bags and has trouble using a screwdriver. I have slowly but surely filled up his shop with a treadmill, recumbent bike, total gym, strider and inversion table. Now we go out to the shop together and he rides the recumbent bike while i get to use the rest if the equipment. Win-win!

SDianeL · January 24

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/264139#Comment_264139

Respectfully, I would get rid of the tools. Telling him not to use it when you're not home won't work. His short term memory is gone. Depending on what stage he's in he shouldn't be left alone. He wouldn't know what to do if a fire broke out. A nurse asked my husband that question and he said he would put out the fire. Not call 911. Not get out of the house. She said he should never be left alone again. I never did.

Tonight

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