Trying to keep him at home

KathyF1 · January 26

My DH is late stage 6 and is on hospice. I have a wonderful caregiver who comes to our home during the weekdays. Lately though he’s unsteady on his feet. Very difficult for me to get him out of bed and walk him to the bathroom for me to change him, give him his bath. We had a hospital bed delivered this week. My caregiver tells me he’ll be he most likely will be bed bound soon. The problem is I’m not sure I can change him in the bed if I can’t get him up and standing. She can do it but she’s stronger than me. Hospice is bringing a lift this week, I’m not sure what that does but they say it will help me change him. I don’t want to put him in a home. Have any of you been in this situation? I don’t want to have to have 24 hour care so I have to figure out how to change him in bed! Weekends I’m on my own and every day after 5pm. Would love to hear others thoughts on this!

tonyac2 · January 26

Hello KathyF1, my DH has been immobile since 7/24. I have been using a lift to move him from bed to commode, commode to wheelchair, etc. The lift does all of the heavy work getting your LO upright so you can change them. It was a bit of a learning curve for me to be able to do it on my own. Without the lift, I wouldn’t be able to care for him at home. I actually have three lifts. The first one was hydraulic, insurance provided. Then I found an electric version. Most recently purchased an EZ Stand off eBay - the kind that hospitals and care facilities use. Makes all the difference as it moves much smoother. I wish you well in your caregiver journey.

KathyF1 · January 26

Thank you! That’s great information.
Blessings to you!

jgreen · January 29

Dear @KathyF1

I am not yet in same situation as you. So sad to read you are in this position. Here are a couple of personal suggestions:

Talk with the hospice nurse and caregiver about your concerns. They should know of resources to help you, including weekends and after 5 when you are alone with DH. Maybe help to come in for an hour or two once a day on Saturday/Sunday?

If your DH becomes bedbound - he will not need a daily bath (unless he has an ‘accident’ and needs to be cleaned). Once or twice a week is really all the bathing he needs. And shampoo maybe only once a week.

There are products out there that do not require rinsing. I recommend you get names of ones that hospice recommends. You want to be careful of any rinseless bath products that can cause skin irritation or skin breakdown. This way you will not need a lift.

Also talk with hospice about urinals and external catheter systems. That would help you and DH to keep him from having to stand up with only you helping him.

Look for products that will help keep the mattress on the hospital bed from getting wet/soiled.

God bless you for wanting to keep him home as long as YOU are able (emphasis on YOU). You need to reserve some energy so you can keep him and you safe. Know when to say ‘when’!

Hugs and prayers for both of you. 💝 🙏

Kat63 · January 29

I have my husband at home under hospice care and have for about 18 months. He is still mobile most of the time with my help or a walker and can still help enough that I can get him up out of bed.

My hospice nurse helped me get private help. It has been great to have this in addition to hospice care. My nurse has patients at the local care facilities and helped me with finding aids that would be willing to do some private care as well to earn extra money. So I currently have 2 men ( I requested male aids, as my husband does better with men if I leave). They are great and are trained in care and have been trained with Teepa Snow program to care for dementia patients. It has worked great for me and maybe having some extra help like this could help you too, especially on weekends. Maybe ask your hospice nurse or social worker.

Trying to keep him at home

Comments

Commonly Used Abbreviations

Community Guidelines

Categories