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I was Angry and then tears (Venting)

Last night was terrible for me. My DW was agitated and confrontational all night. She kept me up until 1am. I was angry but I kept it to myself. In the morning, my DW was loving just like the person I married. I hate this disease! On our way to lunch today she was so affectionate. I couldn't hold back my tears because I know I am losing her to this awful disease! She saw my distress, but I said everything was fine. I HATE this disease!

Comments

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 3,218
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    so sorry you are going through this. You were angry at this awful disease! Understandable. It’s heartbreaking. Hugs. 💜

  • Chance Rider
    Chance Rider Member Posts: 277
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    I’m so sorry. This dreadful disease takes such an emotional and physical toll. Hugs 💜

  • persevere
    persevere Member Posts: 212
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    The fact that you were able to hold it in speaks volumes about you. Not all of us can do that.

  • RobertaPR
    RobertaPR Member Posts: 1
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    Hi. first time posting. Anger is coming up often for me. How often are you dealing with anger? What strategies do you use to move past? So far I try to repeat to myself "her brain is broken, she isn't doing this on purpose" over and over. Also, I leave the room but I can't go far. Thanks for sharing. Peace to you.
  • Jeff H
    Jeff H Member Posts: 151
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    It's tough but has gotten so much better after her neurologist prescribed Rexulti for my DW agitation and aggressive behavior. It's pretty much gone now.

  • Princessleah
    Princessleah Member Posts: 1
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    This is good to hear and gives me hope! My mom’s Neurologist just prescribed Rexulti and we are praying it works. It’s a bit scary because when you read all the drug warnings you almost wonder which is worse, the potential side effects, or the agitation, irritability, crying, restlessness that is getting worse at night. Thank you for sharing!!

  • Jeff H
    Jeff H Member Posts: 151
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    Rexuliti starts at 0.5mg and gradually goes up to 2mg. I was still seeing agitation and aggressive behavior when she was on the 2mg dose. Our neurologist increased her Rexulti from 2mg to 3mg per day (the maximum). It has been working great for the agitation and aggressive behavior. The side effect for my DW is sedation. That does give me some relief because she will sleep through the night. Once the dose is administered, it takes about 4 hours to have its maximum effect. Time your dose in advance of when your mom starts her irritability. I truly hope you will see the same results!

  • Arrowhead
    Arrowhead Member Posts: 493
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    My wife has been on this journey for over 10 years, and I still get angry over it.

  • McWit
    McWit Member Posts: 1
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    Member

    Agreed. I hate the disease. Be thankful for those precious good moments. I don't get any of those.

  • Russinator
    Russinator Member Posts: 305
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    ((HUGS))

  • yardman49
    yardman49 Member Posts: 26
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    Yes my situation is similar to yours. My DW has had several all night as I call them dementia episodes. She becomes very belligerent and and starts cursing and accusing me of all sorts of things. When I can mix her medication into her food for dinner we generally get a good night's sleep. Some nights she will not consume all her food or enough for the meds to take effect. Well, it is what it is, and I hate what this disease has done to her, and it is not getting any better and I know it will not. We do have our good moments also where she is lovable and affectionate but then things can turn into a torrent of accusations, yelling and sometimes throwing and hitting. I for the most part stay quiet and sometimes leave the room. During her episodes I do a 8 4 3, inhale for a count of 8, hold in for a count of 4 and then exhale to a count of 7. This usually gets me by but on occasion I will lose my cool. I am human and can take so much. It is like she goes in and out of reality. She does not remember being ugly and asks that I forgive her for anything she has said to hurt me. This is so tough!!!

    My prayers are with you as you are not alone in this despicable journey.

  • Jeff H
    Jeff H Member Posts: 151
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    I am so sorry you have to go through this. We seem to be all in the same boat. It's such a strange and terrible disease. I still don't understand why it's not reported more in the media. There are some moments of glimmer and love but it can turn so quickly to the opposite. She will still take her medications which is a plus. I don't know what I would do if she doesn't. My prayers are for you and everyone struggling with this disease.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more