Refusing to shower or change clothes?

It's very common for PWD to ignore or resist bathing. Finding my mom in the same clothes for many days was one of the signs to me that she was in need of a higher level of care (her AL could assist - for an additional fee- with shower set up but was really not staffed or equipped to fully bathe residents).

Some caregivers in facilities are just better at getting the residents to bathe than others. Usually it's better to tell them " it's time for your shower" than to ask or plead with them. Perhaps an incentive like, we are having a special event and we have to get washed up in order to go. Successful tactics vary by the person. My mom, now in memory care, will very rarely shower. The staff clean her with bathing cloths and I use a no-rinse shampoo cap on her hair.

it is very common and later stage dementia to hate water and hate changing your clothes. I have had my mother in my home for five years. I still struggle with both of these things. I will let it go for a while, but you can’t let it go for too long because she’ll get an infection from being dirty. Sometimes I have to lure her into the bathroom because she follows me everywhere and sometimes I have to force her to let me wash her. Sometimes I just take her by surprise when I’ve got her pants down and at least clean her crack out. It’s rough, I’m sorry.