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Stage 8

CindyBum
CindyBum Member Posts: 691
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in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

My vibrant, joyful, beautiful Suze passed peacefully last night. True to the fighter in her, she fought for 11 days without food or drink, giving a frustrated growl with her last breath. She finally let go to be free from this mean, mean disease, but she wasn’t happy about it. Ha!

She was the love of my life. I’ll miss her desperately, but will feel her boundless energy, love and light the rest of my days. I am grateful for all she gave me and all we shared together.

It’s been a very hard 8 years, with last 3 totally exhausting. I’m free too, though I didn’t ever want to be free of my DW. I’m sort of ok with waves of sadness, but having 11days to say goodbye was, perhaps, Suze’s final gift to me. I was ready for her to take her last breath as I stroked her face and told her I loved her and it was ok to go.

And now I rest for a while and see where my next phase takes me. I’m in no rush. Just looking at the wonderful pictures and remembering all the laughs we had, which were pretty darn constant.

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Comments

  • Chance Rider
    Chance Rider Member Posts: 269
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    @CindyBum

    I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful wife Suze, at the same time I’m glad her suffering from this dreadful disease is over. Thank you for sharing the pictures and giving us a glimpse of your life together. I hope you’ll continue to post here, your insights are so helpful.
    Sending hugs 💟

  • Michele P
    Michele P Member Posts: 354
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    I am so sorry for your loss. You were a wonderful wife and caregiver.

  • Call me Gram
    Call me Gram Member Posts: 134
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    Thank you for sharing these beautiful photos, CindyBum, and for sharing your experiences with us. Sending heartfelt wishes for peace and comfort.

  • wose
    wose Member Posts: 366
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    Member

    Dear @CindyBum …..I am so sorry for this great loss. Your pictures of you and Suze speak volumes of the love you’ve shared. Hold onto to that. I’ve learned so much from you and your posts. I will be forever grateful. Rest now, sending you hugs 💕💙

  • Stan2
    Stan2 Member Posts: 150
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    Member

    So sorry for your loss @CindyBum . Thank you for sharing with us.

  • Sunfish47
    Sunfish47 Member Posts: 51
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    Member

    My condolences to you. Such a cruel difficult journey. May her memory be for a blessing. Now to concentrate on all the happy years you shared.

  • RetiredTeacher
    RetiredTeacher Member Posts: 347
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    Member

    My sincere sympathy on your loss. Thank you for sharing the beautiful photos of the love you shared. Your devotion to each other is evident in the puctures. Know that your DW is no longer suffering and she would want you to remember all the good memories and to carry on,continuing to live your life. You have been an inspiration to all of us on what kind of caregiver we should aspire to be. Sending prayers for strength during stage 8. Please continue to post as many here are not as far along in our journeys and wonder how we will handle stage 8. Siding 🫂, 🙏 and ❤️

  • Jgirl57
    Jgirl57 Member Posts: 803
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    RIP; Peace to you and your family. Thank you for sharing the lovely photos.

  • cavenson
    cavenson Member Posts: 76
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    Member

    May the many good memories you have of life with Suze bring you comfort during this very sad time. You were a wonderful and loving caregiver during some difficult times. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Now, as you journey through grief, be gentle with yourself.

  • Goodlife2025
    Goodlife2025 Member Posts: 303
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    Cindy, so sad for you as your walk without Suzie by your side begins. Your open manner sharing your life with your wife has been such a source of strength and inspiration for me. The pictures speak volumes; may you have a million wonderful comforting memories.

  • Marla13
    Marla13 Member Posts: 61
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    May she rest in peace. Such beautiful pictures.

  • psg712
    psg712 Member Posts: 677
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    So sorry for the loss of your love. You cared for her so beautifully through this horrible illness. Peace and healing for your heart.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 3,182
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    I’m so sorry. Suze was lucky to have you and your love. Thank you for sharing Suze with us. True love is forever. May you find strength and comfort in the days ahead. Allow yourself to grieve. Grief is the price we pay for love. Hugs. Diane.

  • Metta
    Metta Member Posts: 119
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    Strength and peace. Your photos show such joy and love! May Stage 8 be kind to you as you grieve.

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 749
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    The look of love, life, laughter and such fun in those photos underscores this disease as being so very unfair. I hope you can continue to live life to the full for the sake of your DW and her memories.

  • persevere
    persevere Member Posts: 202
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    Member

    What a beautiful couple you were. Thanks for sharing the pictures. All of us here on this website share a special bond. Keep in touch and let us know how you're getting along.

  • suvi
    suvi Member Posts: 19
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    Member

    May your Suze rest in peace. Thank you for sharing the beautiful photos, I’m so sorry for your devastating loss.

  • Beachfan
    Beachfan Member Posts: 834
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    Member

    I am sorry to learn of your Suze’s passing and wish you peace and strength going forward. (Suze is surely at peace.) Your photos are a testament to your enduring love and strong bond. Frame a favorite, keep it at your bedside and wish her a good night every night. It helps.💕💕

  • CMC62
    CMC62 Member Posts: 34
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    I am so sorry for your loss. The photos show so much love. Wishing you peace going forward.

  • ronda b
    ronda b Member Posts: 385
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    Such happy beautiful pictures. Always keep them in your heart and not the agonizing ones. So sorry for loss .

  • A. Marie
    A. Marie Member Posts: 135
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    Member

    Hands across the miles to you, CindyBum, as you navigate this new stage of grief. You were a wonderful caregiver for Suze, always. The pictures are wonderful. And I absolutely understand the mix of emotions you describe so well in your 12:29 post.

  • CampCarol
    CampCarol Member Posts: 257
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    Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss. You were a wonderful wife and care partner to Suze! And thank you for being a part of this forum, so many of your posts were helpful to me. I'm sending thoughts and prayers your way as you transition to stage 8. Be good to yourself…

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

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