How to assume the "parent role" with your parent

I find this very awkward also. I blame it on the anosognosia and a bit of a personality change. My mom has never been excessively independent, but she is now. In the past she was always hesitant and quick to ask for help. Now she believes she is strong, capable and independent. She doesn’t want me to do anything for her and is resentful when I do. I can’t tell you how many times she has sarcastically referred to me a doctor (since I think I know everything about her health). Unfortunately she can be snippy and mean. It’s hard!

I try to let my dad parent me when he can. Sometimes walking through the facility, he'll tell me to keep my voice down because others are sleeping and I'll say, you're right dad, etc. I let him do what he still can, who cares if he makes a little mess or doesn't do it perfectly? ITA with SDianeL, let the caregivers perform their role and you assume the role of loving daughter as often as possible. I'm a daughter to a father so I don't do as much of the hands-on stuff. He let's me know when he's had enough of my hovering and I back off. And yes, it will become more natural as it goes on and she will probably accept more help as it goes on also.

Hi there! I hear how difficult and unnatural it is for you to be in this type of caregiving role with your mother, especially the physical care. It's also difficult for your mom, who is used to being independent, competent, and self-sufficient. I empathize with you. My father, who has vascular dementia, used to be the same type of person as your mom — a very capable, intelligent and independent person with a can-do attitude. Now, I sometimes have to pull up his pants after he goes to the bathroom. Or remind him to take out his mouth guard when he eats. Or — what really bothers him — when I check his math on a restaurant bill. After all, he was a CPA and doesn't like to be "audited."Yes, it is so hard to have this role reversal and have to parent the parent.