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Elder Law

Geot
Geot Member Posts: 12
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in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

I know that my DW condition will get worse over time and I may not be able to care for her in our home. If anyone has reached this stage have you got an Elder Attorney involved and is this advisable…God knows I don't have all the answers.

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  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 1,583
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    It is definitely a good idea to see an elder law attorney. You should have a DPOA for her with someone named as a backup if something were to happen to you. You should also appoint a DPOA, since your wife will no longer be able to care for you if it becomes necessary. If she hasn’t done a living will, that would also be a good idea. Don’t put this off, since she needs to understand what she is signing. I needed a DPOA when mom went into Al. As a husband I’m not sure if you would need that or not. Best to ask a lawyer. If you can’t care for her any longer she would probably need mc or a nursing home. These are incredibly expensive. A lawyer can help with how best to manage that. Is Medicaid an option? It’s complicated and qualifications and what is covered varies by state. Is there some way to protect finances? Mom’s lawyer suggested a prepaid funeral, but that may not be what’s best in your situation. Do you have enough to pay out of pocket for mc and for how long? A lawyer is really the best place to get these answers.

  • Geot
    Geot Member Posts: 12
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    H1235…These are all the questions that have been running through my mind. We had a trust done years ago and already have DPOA's, wills, and health proxys but I'm sure there are a lot of financial situations that may occur and will need advice on that….thank you very much.

  • annie51
    annie51 Member Posts: 555
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    @H1235 summed it all up beautifully. It is definitely worth seeing an elder law attorney. My DH and I had all that paperwork prior to his diagnosis so I had to change my DPOA and health proxy to remove him as primary. And based on the financial analysis I had to change how my will was worded in case I died first. Elder law attorneys are experts on Medicaid if that’s an option for you - in my case I didn’t think it was an option because of my financial situation but there were things I didn’t know about and was able to apply for it for DH. I think you’ll feel better once someone reviews your situation and advises.

  • Geot
    Geot Member Posts: 12
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    This is exactly the information I needed. My financial situation doesn't work for Medicaid either but some other things you mentioned do certainly need my attention…thank you

  • terei
    terei Member Posts: 814
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    When you had DPOAs done earlier you were probably each other’s POA. You need a different person to be your POA, but she does not have to be involved in that.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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