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Morose Valentine

rplourde50
rplourde50 Member Posts: 65
25 Care Reactions 25 Likes Second Anniversary 10 Comments
Member
in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

sad today because my DW of course doesn’t know it’s Valentine’s Day and also because it’s dawning on me I can no longer do many of the things I used to enjoy. Feeling a little imprisoned in my own home. Just needed to vent and say these things. I didn’t want to vent to family and friends and bring them down today.

Comments

  • rplourde50
    rplourde50 Member Posts: 65
    25 Care Reactions 25 Likes Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    Member

    thank w for the worlds of understanding.

  • BPS
    BPS Member Posts: 418
    500 Care Reactions 250 Likes 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Comments
    Member

    The MC my wife is in gave out small heart shaped boxes of candy to the residents but my wife didn't know why or even what she got so Valentines day, anniversaries, birthdays, or Christmas I visit and don't say anything and every thing is normal. I have totally given up on her caring about any holidays and it is easier than hoping it will mean something to her. I used to try and make it special and I was always disappointed so now every day is the same. I am a little down today. I don't think it has anything to do with Valentines day but I start thinking back over the last 10 years of this disease and even the 10 years before that and I know we took some great trips and did some fun stuff but all I can remember is the sad times. Our marriage had a lot of problems but I hope some day to remember some of the good times.

  • wose
    wose Member Posts: 365
    500 Care Reactions 250 Likes 100 Comments Second Anniversary
    Member

    I am so with you BPS, we took so many trips and I struggle to remember any of it. All I can remember is the ugly words. I’m not as optimistic as you in recovering good ones cause there weren’t enough. My Mom always made a strawberry angel food cake so I continue to make his day special even tho he doesn’t give a damn. I made a great dinner and two special desserts but he ate very little. It made me feel better tho. Today, I thought of my parents and the wonderful relationship they had. My Mom almost ate her engagement ring in a box of chocolates. It makes me smile💙💕

  • tonyac2
    tonyac2 Member Posts: 208
    250 Care Reactions 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments
    Member

    This disease takes our loved one and so many other things from us like you said, things I used to enjoy. I had zero expectations today, took my DH to Culver’s and on a whim decided to pay for the person behind me in the drive through. I’ve never done that before but today it felt right. The cashier was so excited by it, telling me how nice I was for doing it, then handed me a long stemmed red rose. For having zero expectations her kindness in return made my day.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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