Alzheimers and PCA

Sdcrew · February 17

My husband was dx with moderate Alzheimers and Posterior Cortical Atrophy. He will not admit there is anything going on with him. He has difficulties seeing his food, car door handles among other things. I was giving him Memantine and Donepezil, and I had to titrate him off because he was refusing to take. We are going in to see his neurologist for his 6 month appt. My husband also does not think anything is wrong with vision. What I want to ask is if there are other people who may be experiencing this with their spouse? How do you handle the denial? He is 63 and cannot stay by himself and that is hard on me due to he will not stay with anyone else. He thinks he being babysat. Any suggestions?

H1235 · February 17

Anosognosia is very common with dementia. It is the inability to recognize their symptoms or limitations. It is not denial! He brain is not capable or recognizing these deficits. It can be so difficult to deal with. My mom wanted to mow her lawn, power wash the swing and so angry there wasn’t a full stove and oven in her assisted living apartment. The doctor put her on medication to help with her anger, but she said she didn’t need medication for some so called mood problems. I later told her the medication was for her blood pressure. Would something like that work? You might also ask the doctor if it can be ground up into applesauce (ask the doctor first!). It’s important to never try to reason with a person with dementia. They will turn it into an argument and you will always lose. It’s best to try and live in his world as much as possible. Adjust things to accommodate him without telling him. If he says he is goServe more finger foods if that would help. I think it’s important to never bring up a person with dementia’s symptoms or limitations in front of them. You may find it helpful to use a therapeutic fib. I know it seem wrong to lie, but if that lie lessens his anxiety or anger in some way I think it’s worth it. My mom was very angry with the loss of her independence. Medication helped, but it took a while to figure out. You need to leave the house now and then. Maybe it’s time to talk with his doctor about medication so he can accept someone else. Is there a way you could have someone come in to ask him a question about something her enjoys or collects as a cover for them being there to care for him? Put on a bit of a show (come up with a good story he will buy into). I hope something here is helpful.

Anosognosia and Dementia - AgingCare.com.pdf

https://www.darpelelderlaw.com/therapeutic-fibs-and-dementia-a-compassionate-approach-rooted-in-love

annie51 · February 17

A lot of good suggestions from @H1235. It’s correct that you need to get practiced with the therapeutic fiblets. It’s the only way to get through this as you have to live in their reality, and if he doesn’t think anything is wrong you’ll have to come up with little fibs to get him to the doctor, accept companion caregivers, etc. I’ve seen suggestions like telling him it’s an old friend come to visit, or a friend’s daughter coming to help with some housework while you do errands…something along this line. I used to say to my DH “I’ve got to run out for a bit, would you mind keeping (her or him) company?” Another thing that worked for me was getting a male companion (on my 3rd try) - he was about the same age as DH and was able to relate better with him. Maybe you stay there for the first visit to see how it goes. You might need to do this a few times before you find someone that he’s comfortable with, especially if you can get them to talk about something he’s interested in. If you can make that work, you will enjoy the free time.

harshedbuzz · February 17

@Sdcrew

If you were hoping that overcoming his "denial" would allow you to make a logical case for an in-home caregiver to provide you with some respite, you would surely be disappointed.

He's not in denial, he has anosognosia. His brain disease prevents him from appreciating the scope and impact of his limitations. In his mind— his reality— he's just fine. He's likely beyond reasoning at this point as well. You'll need to create some fictious narrative to be able to take your breaks. A lot of folks hire a cleaner who happens to be there while you have to step out for a bit. Others make up a story about a friend-of-a-friend visiting or even helping out someone studying to be a nurse who needs clinical hours. Another option is a day program that "needs volunteers".

HB

mom2boyz · February 18

My DH has PCA and mild EOAD. Do you have family nearby? If I have something going on or if I notice DH getting frustrated stuck in the house (I work from home) I reach out to my BIL and he will come visit or take him out.

My DH also has occasional issues using dinnerware, finding door handles, etc. He does not have denial but he gets very frustrated at times. He is 57.

SDianeL · February 19

my husband had PCA. Search for dementia aids for visually impaired. Use color contrasts for eating. Red plate with lip. Also a brightly colored toilet seat. I put night lights to mark the way to the bathroom. I put an LED battery operated light on the toilet tank. I put toilet bowl cleaner in that turned the water blue.

Alzheimers and PCA

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