Have any questions about how to use the community? Check out the Help Discussion.

When I look back at what I WAS worried about…

6isenough
6isenough Member Posts: 13
25 Care Reactions First Anniversary First Comment
Member
in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

I feel foolish. Our problems are slowly getting manageable as far as reigning in my DHs spending and not being able to manage our finances.

The real troubles are here now and I just can’t do it. I “feel” so sick. I have amended my statement “I am so sick!” After trying to get help with my lupus and other health issues. I am still going through the process but it is without any hope.

This leads me to not being able to deal with my DH. He is scaring me. He is obsessed with guns and knives. He gets angry when I am not taking care of his wants and needs. I am exhausted but don’t sleep.

I guess I will have to get a social worker involved. That is going to make him even more angry. I don’t want him to hurt anyone.

He has always been so level headed. So affable. Maybe someone else can talk to him. I just can’t micromanage him anymore.

I do have a question here. Does anyone know how a person can purchase a gun when they have a diagnosis that affects their mental health?

Comments

  • ronda b
    ronda b Member Posts: 388
    100 Likes 100 Care Reactions 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    What state do you live in?

  • BPS
    BPS Member Posts: 467
    500 Care Reactions 250 Insightfuls Reactions 250 Likes 100 Comments
    Member

    Call his doctor about medication. Call the Alzheimer's hot line or adult protective services. They may be able to direct you. You need to be safe. Don't put it off, do it now. Take care of yourself.

  • 6isenough
    6isenough Member Posts: 13
    25 Care Reactions First Anniversary First Comment
    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/266986#Comment_266986

    Indiana

  • 6isenough
    6isenough Member Posts: 13
    25 Care Reactions First Anniversary First Comment
    Member

    He doesn’t appear deranged or out of control. He just passed his cognitive test with flying colors. It’s these flashes of angry glances and the way he takes off without talking to me. (He still is driving). I think that he is almost too “able” and that is where I get fearful.

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 1,819
    500 Insightfuls Reactions 500 Likes 1000 Comments 250 Care Reactions
    Member

    If you’re talking about that quick little 5 minute test at the pcp, it means nothing! Mom passed it just fine. When she did the 2 hour evaluation at the neurologist they diagnosed her with vascular dementia, told her not to drive and said she was not safe to live alone. Most people with dementia have anosognosia and believe there is nothing wrong. Mom believes there is nothing wrong to the point of being almost arrogant. Don’t let this confidence he has in himself make you think he is more capable than he is. It’s easy to be fooled. Do you have a room in your home you can go to and lock the door. Keep car and house keys in your pocket at all times. I would not try to reason with him. Take all the car keys, take his credit cards, disable his car and do it all without him knowing it was you. If he gets out of control call 911. I don’t know how they can sell someone with dementia a gun, but it doesn’t surprise me. Call adult protective services or the Alzheimer’s hot line. This is not a safe situation!

  • 6isenough
    6isenough Member Posts: 13
    25 Care Reactions First Anniversary First Comment
    Member

    I will be watching but it seems that my DH has recognized that I am not well. He seems to be trying to help with household chores and not demanding my attention as much. I know that he may be realizing that if I am not here, then who?
    I appreciate everyone’s support.

  • Dusty217
    Dusty217 Member Posts: 65
    25 Likes 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Sounds more like Lewy Body dementia. Memory is less effected than behavior. But I agree with everyone. You need to be safe. My DH is early in this process as well. I also have Lupus and the stress has caused increase in my symptoms as well. I am seeing my Rheumatologist more often and we are working on my meds. Take care of yourself and be safe..

  • 6isenough
    6isenough Member Posts: 13
    25 Care Reactions First Anniversary First Comment
    Member

    My Rheumatologist is trying I think but I have gone through most of the options for treatment. I just started getting Saphnelo infusions. I have had allergic reactions a few days after the treatment. Boo! Rash, low blood pressure and couldn’t breathe.
    Would you consider leaving your lo if you were having trouble with your own health?

    I am. I think that his frustrations in part are due to me not being able to keep up. I do the best I can but I am sure you know, it is not easy.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

Community Guidelines


Click here to review the ALZConnected Community Guidelines

Categories