My saddest day

Dan520 · March 3

Yesterday my wife admitted that she can't read a clock any longer. We just buried her mom last week at 95 years old. She had dementia for at least 15 years. Probably much longer. She lived alone so who knows

. My wife was diagnosed last October but has been having problems much longer. She retired in 2021 because she could no longer do her job.

We have an appointment in May with memory DR. We're going in 2 days to update will and dpoa and all that stuff with elder law atty.

I'm reading 36 hr day. I do most everything around the house but that's ok. I retired in 2024.

But yesterday really hit me hard. She never really admitted anything like that.

I know it may and probably will get worse. Thanks for listening.

White Crane · March 3

Hi, Dan520, it sounds like you are doing what you need to be doing: seeing an Elder law attorney; reading The 36 Hour Day. I hear your sadness. My DH had been a very talented artist. He could draw, paint, carve, build, you name it and he could do it. The day I handed him a sketch pad and colored pencils and he handed them back to me was a very sad day for me . He looked at me and said "I can't." It hurts to realize our loved ones can't do the things that used to be so easy for them to do.

jsps139_ · March 4

Those things are just heartbreaking. Over a year ago, we went to the bank to get some papers notarized and my DH could not sign his name. I had no idea, and it felt like a punch in the gut. I was so sad. He tried so hard but could only draw the vertical line.
Dan, early on we changed to digital clocks and watches because he could still read those. That helped for 4 years or so. We’re in year 12 now, so the watch is long gone and he doesn’t know what a clock is for.
No matter how much I read about the progression of this disease, it still hurts so much as these things happen.

SDianeL · March 4

So sorry. Each new behavior is like a gut punch. We know how you feel. I bought a large digital clock that had the day, date and time and that helped for awhile. I also got him a digital watch.

tonyac2 · March 4

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/267303#Comment_267303

I hear you. My DH was a talented singer and musician. I dearly miss hearing his beautiful voice. The losses never seem to have an ending.

annie51 · March 5

So sorry about this. Certain things will hit you when you least expect it. Try to put it out of your mind and focus on something positive. One of the first things I noticed years ago with my DH was his trouble reading the clock. Good that you’re doing the things that need to be done. It will give you some peace of mind, and every little bit of that helps!

Chance Rider · March 6

@Dan520 I’m so sorry you’re on this journey with us but I appreciate that you shared your DWs inability to tell time. I hadn’t even thought to question if my husband can still tell time with his Apple Watch. He never mentions things that he finds challenging. I was surprised though a couple of months ago when he told a friend of his that his iPhone doesn’t have the ability to take pictures. It’s so hard to see our people slowly fade away.

SpokaneTom · March 10

It's interesting you mention having trouble with time. My wife is in about year 4 (stage 5) of Alzheimer's and within the past two weeks we've discovered she can't tell time any longer. And not just having trouble with the difference between 2pm and 4pm or looking at a clock and knowing what it means, but also the passage of time. I can tell her that we're going to leave the house in about 2 hours and she'll come back in 20 minutes ready to go, wondering why I'm still sitting on the couch. I explain it to her, but it doesn't sink in. Initially she was aware of the problem, but now she can't figure out what's going on and it causes her great anxiety.

I'm sorry that's where your wife is at, but for me it's sort of comforting to know that someone else has a similar symptom.

My saddest day

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