Giving up outside appointments

psg712 · March 16

How long has anyone been able to keep up routine dental care for your PWD? I have actually been taking my mom for cleanings every 3 months, on the advice of the dentist since she doesn't do a good job with brushing. Staff at her MC are supposed to assist her, but I think it happens in a hit or miss fashion depending on staffing and lack of prioritization. I often assist with her teeth when I visit.

Mom has had ongoing overall decline, including difficulty feeding herself, sleeping more during the daytime, almost complete incontinence, unable to process or follow basic instructions. The last time I tried to take her to my house for lunch, on Christmas day, it was a major project to get her ready to leave the facility. Then she stood by my car and would not get in. She wasn't agitated or belligerent, she simply could not understand what to do even when I demonstrated bending and sitting on the seat. I ended up taking her back into the facility for lunch.

She has a dental appointment this week. I went to see her around 11 AM today and found her in bed. She opened her eyes and smiled at me than dozed off again. With the declines I have seen as well as her difficulty following directions, I think her trips out of the facility are coming to an end. I'm considering canceling her appointment.

Any thoughts from those whose LOs are at this stage or beyond?

easy23 · March 16

My DH needs to have 2 teeth pulled and refuses to do so. This has been going on for two years now and I just let him be. So far it hasn't turned into an emergency.

April23 · March 16

This has been so hard for me too! Luckily I have access to a mobile dentist who, while not the greatest, is better than nothing. Same with podiatry and eye doctor.

You could check on mobile providers, they are also experienced in working with PWD which is a plus. It can also be hit or miss as in December my dad refused the dental visit but earlier this week he did fine, although I had them skip X-rays and just do the cleaning. I have long feared picking dad up for an outside appointment and it being impossible. It never happened but was always at the back of my mind.

Last year I noticed dad not enjoying outings to my home or restaurants like he used to. So we’ve stopped those now. I think our LO’s tell us when it’s time. If you’re feeling like you should stop them, then it’s probably time.

psg712 · March 16

Thanks. I canceled her dental appointment.

SDianeL · March 17

in late stages I stopped all outside appointments. Have you considered a hospice evaluation? They offer so much help for the PWD and caregiver.

psg712 · March 17

I have considered hospice several times, typically after MC sends mom to the ER for things that could be handled on site. Each time that I have broached the subject with MC leaders, I've been told that "she's not ready yet" for hospice care. It's strange, because they have residents who receive hospice services there in the MC. But most of them are wheelchair bound, need hand feeding and have complete incontinence. Mom still walks with a walker but is close to needing hand feeding. Rarely toilets on her own anymore. I think we are close to a hospice situation for her.

Giving up outside appointments

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