My DW is now refusing to take her evening medications.
Usually on queue, my DW will take her medications in the morning and in the evening. Today, I gave her the medications for the night, and she refused to take them. No matter what I tried, she would not take them. Her medications cannot be crushed and added to food (that's another story). It's very frustrating. What is a caregiver to do? Wait it out and try again later maybe?
Comments
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It is very frustrating when this happens and it is hard not to get into a power struggle. Depending on what the medication is , I try again later or skip it. At a recent appointment , the doctor discontinued two of his nighttime meds and that helped. At this stage for us, the medicines that manage behavior are the ones I focus on.
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Too bad they can’t be crushed. My DH off and on yells, “No!” when I try to give meds. It’s frustrating. I put the ice cream/crushed pills down and try again. Sometimes I bribe him, I say something like, take your pills so we can go on a ride.
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Jeff, I am noticing changes in DWs behavior that I think are related somewhat to the recent time change and very nice weather here. (Not sure where you are located but it has been sunny and in the mid 70s here for weeks now) I have tried changing the time of her meds making it part of an after dinner routine and including vitamins for me (my meds). It seems to be working for now and easier than at 5-6pm like in the winter.
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Jeff, tonight was the first night that DW refused to take meds. She also didn't recognize me as her husband (of over 40 years). Thought I was trying to give her over the counter drugs…admittedly, they are newer prescriptions to her, yet she has taken them for over a month with no problem, no adverse reaction, no resistance to taking them. I believe she is having a UTI also, but is unable to follow through with the urine sample. but I may be able to get help from a nurse tomorrow on that. It is a horrible disease. Different every day. I finally was able to call her brother, whom she idolizes, who explained to her that I am truly her husband and trying to keep her healthy. She has a focus on her birth family and childhood friends - those that are alive are no longer close by geographically, and she doesn't always remember that some have passed. She did take her meds…and I am fairly confident she will not remember any of this tomorrow morning when she is much better cognitively from awakening to around 11:30 am. Oh well. It is comforting knowing that this forum exists and that there are others with similar issues.
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Two things that worked for me and my DW.
My DW has taken vitamins her whole adult life so when she refused her prescription meds, I just started calling them her vitamins and she took them with no fuss.
I also had a difficult time collecting her urine for testing until I found these Urine Hats on Amazon.8 -
On rare occasions when my DW refuses I just wait a bit then try again. She pretty much chews all her meds or I put them in food. She has been on several medications and the only one they didn’t want her chewing was depakote which they have in liquid form.
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We had issues with my mom when she had an undiagnosed ( misdiagnosed) UTI. The more we tried to talk her into taking them, the more she would refuse. We were advised to let her be the one to take them out of her pill reminder container. That didn’t help because she would refuse to do so. It was as if she thought we weren’t using the appropriate meds. A friend stopped by one day, and mom promptly took them just fine when the friend handed the pills to her.
So - do you have any neighborhood friends that can come over for 5 minutes?5 -
This disease is so messed up. Last night my DH accused me of withholding his medication. ( He of course forgot he took it) and then he says “How long are you going to withhold my medicine? Are you going to give it to me tomorrow?” Honestly….you just never know … I like @Quilting brings calm idea about another person. I’m sorry💙
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My HWD has always taken his medication without a problem, because he wants to get better (it's so sad that this will not be possible). All of a sudden he refused them…he has NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and is in mid to late stage alz dementia. With NPD there really is no way to make him do anything that he doesn't want to do…he insisted that I am not a doctor, so I don't know what I'm talking about, I am trying to make him die so that I can take his money, he knows what his own body needs, etc. He had a bad fall a few weeks ago and the ER doctor ordered home health for a few months, so the nurse who visited that day asked him to take his meds and he did. I've noticed that he will do whatever the nurses/doctors ask him to do without question, so came up with a little fiblet that has worked, so far. I told him that his VA doctor had called me and made a slight change to his medication routine and had me write down a detailed list of what he should take and when and then report back to him. I did write out a very formal looking list of his meds and times to administer to show him. I also said that the doctor had asked me to explain to him how important it was to take all of his pills everyday at the precise time he wanted him to, otherwise they wouldn't be effective. So far it has worked and since it is all coming from his doctor, he is not afraid that I am trying to poison him! Of course, this could change at any time.
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I used to bribe my DH to get him to take his meds. I would say "if you do this for me" and offer a cupcake or pudding or something he likes to eat or drink. I always had some chocolate hidden in a drawer and would use it as a reward. After he took his medications I would thank him profusely like he did something great.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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