Have any questions about how to use the community? Check out the Help Discussion.

My Bestie

Victoria Hart
Victoria Hart Member Posts: 1 Member
in Caring Long Distance
My best friend has developed delusions and very confused/rambling speech. No stroke or neurological issues. Her mom had Alzheimers.

I'm at a loss as to how to support her through this journey. Her husband, who has dementia says she is "just fine".

Any wisdom out there for an outsider?

Comments

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 2,374
    1,000 Likes 1,000 Insightfuls Reactions 500 Care Reactions 1000 Comments
    Member

    Welcome. This part of the discussion board doesn’t get many visitors. Feel free to post on I’m a caregiver(general topics) if you don’t get many responses. Is your friend’s family aware of what is happening? Are her and her husband safe in an assisted living type of arrangement? I think I would try to reach out to family and explain your concerns. A person who potentially has dementia taking care of someone with dementia is a bad situation. I doubt they would be safe to live alone without an outside caregiver coming in to help. As a friend you can’t very well take her car keys, manage doctors visits and medications, or manage finances. These things need to be taken care of by family. If family seem to brush you off and have their head in the sand, you might want to consider adult protective services. I think the bar is set pretty low there and things will have to be quite bad before they do anything. But still it might be worth looking into. Most people with dementia have anosognosia. This is an inability to recognize their own symptoms or limitations. I would imagine her husband is not able to see her symptoms given his dementia. I will attach a few basic resources.

    DBAT.pdf
    Anosognosia and Dementia - AgingCare.com.pdf
  • Victoriaredux
    Victoriaredux Member Posts: 345
    250 Likes 250 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Comments 25 Care Reactions
    Member

    Adult protective in my area tends to only get involved in high risk situations- someone living outside, rank abuse etc.

    If the person(s) have assets and no family- APS may go to court and get a private fiduciary /conservator appointed. They are pricey but do file reports with the court.

    Did your friend and her husband have legal documents drawn up before all this started- perhaps they appointed someone already. In which case does that person know the current situation?

    Sadly many primary caregivers don't survive their PWD loved one , so hopefully there is a plan for them .

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

Community Guidelines


Click here to review the ALZConnected Community Guidelines

Categories