Moving my mom to a new memory care tomorrow

I told my sibling he is going to have to do the drop off again bc apparently I'm just some woman that will be present at the drop off and my actual name will remain untarnished. Haha. It's very weird bc she will talk to me and say things like my daughter wants me to go to stay by her but I don't want to. And of course my favorite is the conversations with her imaginary boyfriend about how she will be returning right away. Is it possible she has developed schizophrenia???? She tells us she no longer needs a phone bc she can just talk and hear people and this new technology is great. She has regular conversations with this boyfriend.

I'm a little thrown about how she is acting but I think it's largely due to anxiety. I also think she didn't comprehend what she valued at the old memory care until it was gone and she did find comfort in the familiarity.

Right now we are telling her daughter wants to celebrate Easter with her and that's why she is here. She was initially told she was moving by her daughter but got anxious about this so it became visiting me.

she is going to another location of the same chain she was at so it looks very similar but it's a smaller version so maybe she will find comfort in this. My husband and kids set up her room but I would like to make sure it looks good.

I last visited her in late January and she was so much more coherent and knew exactly who I was. I started to make plans to move her back then but it took a while to make it happen meanwhile she has declined dramatically (uti, psychiatric hospitalization) so I wonder if I missed the ideal window to move her. I still think her care will be better by me and it's not like I'd have her stay at the old memory care bc her imaginary boyfriend wants this.

my sibling did this type of a drop off 1.25 years ago except he didn't make a clean break and they had a very dramatic parting and then he sneaked away using the bathroom as an excuse. the former memory care advocated this methodology.

This new memory care (same chain) is as more of the mindset there is no one approach. So we had a family day at the memory care where family has come and gone and returned but she hasn't been left completely alone. She has progressed quite significantly between these two drop offs so this time around I'm concerned with severe disorientation about where she is. She seems to have forgotten she took a plane ride. So she think she can just drive back to her old memory care. So they said to stay the night with her. I am staying with her bc last night in the hotel she woke up not knowing where she was. My plan tomorrow is to have breakfast and leave to get my kids and come back for a family easter celebration and then leave after this.

in this case she is able to express she just misses familiar face and routines as she says as much. She is confused about all the new stuff. Ie she woke up in the morning and was like what is this, a bed? What is this? The bathroom? Am I supposed to use this bathroom? This table? What's it doing here? Her room is much smaller than what she was used to but it's dramatically nicer since I decorated it and the facility is only a few years old. However she is yearning for her memory care issued barren room with the least comfortable bed I've ever slept on in my entire life. I honestly wonder what other residents and make if her. She looks like an under cover movie star doing firsthand research on living in a memory care for sm acting role. She has taken to wearing a black athletic cap and huge sunglasses at all times along with looking younger than a lot of the children of residents. She looks like a major oddball in the mix of residents.

The good thing is that I've been able to come and go though this may change when I really leave. so far I'm happy with my decisions on how to transition her.

maybe but it really feels like she wants to go back to the old memory care. She complained about the place non stop but she apparently was comfortable there. Objectively where she is much better ie less institutional, less depressing, less overwhelming, newer, better view from her window, nicely decorated room. Not that her former memory care was a bad place but pretty much any person without dementia would prefer the one she is at.

I actually know exactly what she is thinking because she says many of her thoughts out loud especially in the morning. But it's not like she is analyzing the situation correctly but I can hear her trying to make sense out of it all in her own way.