Just need a friend

Val D. · April 11

Im caring for my husband of 47 years, about 6 years in now, so far, not difficult except for watching steady decline of smart, healthy partner, which, of course you all know kills us a bit each day. He is good tempered, does as I say, is comfortable to be around, he mostly watches TV or sleeps but we can no longer carry on the conversations we had, or do the activities we enjoyed, (hiking, biking, traveling, etc.) So now I get lonely, even tho with him, 24/7. I have friends and family, all willing to help or talk, they are sympathetic but none truly understand. I had a cousin, that did because he too, had been a caregiver of his wife for 10 years but he was 85, got cancer and now has passed. I miss him desperately and Im looking for someone that knows what it is were going through, someone to call when I just need to talk or escape for awhile. I live in Oak Grove, Mn.

howhale · April 11

Like you many of us need someone to talk to who truly understands our life as caregiver for a loved one with dementia in any of its forms. It is a lonly life for us despite our friends and loved ones and their willingness to help. I found that friends seldom could return as what they see frightens them. Relatives seldom are available long enough and frequent enough to learn how to care for one with this horrible disease. Thus, this site. I lost my DW last August and came on here as often as I could. Help is always available as are people willing to just let us vent. I still visit here almost daily. Having said all that, I too needed real live people who understood to talk to and found in my area there was essentially no resource. Tried a therapist but did not help me, although many find it very helpful. I did find one group sponsored by a foundation called Hilarity For Charity (HFC). Yes, funny name but it was founded by Seth Rogen and his wife whose mother suffered from dementia. Yep, that Seth Rogen, the comedic actor, thus the name. Their groups for spouses may have something available for those who are still caregivers. My group is for those of us who have lost our loved one. Until you find a group that works, we are always here for you to chat, vent, cry or anything else you may need as you care for yourloved one.

SDianeL · April 11

We are here for you. We understand what you are going through. Come here anytime to ask questions or vent. You can send private messages if you like. Some memory care facilities have support groups open to the public if you can get respite care worked out.