Have been “lurking” for awhile…

Lethe · April 13

and thought it’s time to introduce myself. My DH was diagnosed with MCI a year ago after a lengthy wait for cognitive testing and then another 8 months for Neurology. It has now progressed to Alzheimer’s. All I can say is it’s been hard and I’ve learned so much already from this group over the past year so thank you. I have a good support system with friends and adult children but it is still such a lonely lonely journey. I struggle with that. I watched a recent live stream of a couple being interviewed about their journey with early stage dementia. The husband was similar stage to mine but he was open and more or less accepting about his diagnosis. I suppose the silver lining for my DH is his anosognosia but it sure makes it hard on me and so lonely after 53 years together and 49 of marriage. I know this group understands what others do not.

WIGO23 · April 13

I am so sorry you are now on this journey, walking this road with all of us. There is a lot of helpful advice here but for me personally just knowing this is a safe place to say whatever you need to say without being judged is most valuable. People on this forum understand like no one else possibly can unless they have walked this road too.

Ed's mom · April 13

I'm new here too but jumped right in. People who live my life, I'm home.

My partner also has anosognosia i guess, that is not a blessing in our case because it makes me always wrong. But I'm learning now to understand her thinking. I thought I was still talking to the original version and can't always tell the difference. It will be sadder the day I can tell the difference.

Does your DH also blame you for everything? There's nothing wrong with her so it has to be me she said last night. I've learned to nod.

Dusty217 · April 13

I'm also new and my DH has MCI from Alzheimer's. I struggle with much the same as Ed's Mom. I never know if my DH remembers something or is just saying yes…. He seems to remember slights or perceived slights but not the good things from the past and somehow, I'm to blame…

Maru · April 13

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75802/have-been-lurking-for-awhile

Every day is a new day here. I love what Ed's Mom and Dusty217 said about not knowing which version of their LO is showing up. I have finally decided it doesn't matter. I will just agree with whatever DH says or be silent. Lethe, since the longevity of your relationship tells me that you are a senior., I would recommend that you take steps to protect yourself. I know for a fact that if I had an emergency my DH wouldn't call 911 (we already had an episode). I wear a personal alarm button that will bring EMT to the house if needed. Besides all the legal stuff that must be taken care of, start thinking about things that will give you greater sense of security re: your LO and his care. Sorry that you all find yourself here but welcome.

Lethe · April 13

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/270255#Comment_270255

yes I get blamed a lot.. sometimes hard to turn his mood around even when I don’t argue. I’ve learned not to do that. I recently read an article about the “old” and “new”loved one so your comment about the old her made me smile. It is hard to know. It helps to find others living this life.

Lethe · April 13

Someone told me that the emotion/feeling lasts after the memory of what caused the emotion is no longer remembered. So I’ve found that just agreeing or even apologizing (even when not to blame) makes the emotion disappear so he doesn’t hang onto the emotion of these perceived slights. Not always easy and I can’t always do it but keeps the peace for the most part when I can.

Lethe · April 13

Thank you. That is good advice.

Have been “lurking” for awhile…

Comments

Commonly Used Abbreviations

Community Guidelines

Categories