Sex

c3ddonna
c3ddonna Member Posts: 1
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in I Am a Caregiver (General Topics)

my elderly husband was recently diagnosed with dementia/Alzheimers. He has always looked at porn but lately he has started interacting. He asked one if they could meet up for sex. He sent a picture of his genitals to another. And he has said negative comments about me. We were having sex 2-3 times a week. We’re both 72. I left but while I was gone he nearly did himself in by not taking care of himself. (He is diabetic). And he wants me to just let it go and move on. It feels like a loop in my brain that keeps replaying. He called me nosy.

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  • Maru
    Maru Member Posts: 574
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    I think the first thing is to decide if you are going to stay with him during his decline. If you are, then the situation has to be one that you can live with. He might benefit from something to calm him.

    Of course, he wants you to just let it go; he is getting his jollies so no problem for him. Online porn is a scourge. Obviously he is getting his porn online. Would he be able to fix his computer if you found a way to prevent his using it? Maybe some program that will block the porn.

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 2,410
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    I believe I have read that being hyper sexual can be a dementia symptom. A doctor may be able to help with medication. Porn on the internet is sketchy anyway, but there is definitely a financial risk that he might get scammed or just spend ridiculous amounts of money on something. I do know that lack of empathy is a symptom of dementia. I think it can be so hard to distinguish, is it the dementia talking or is this the way he has always been. You know your husband best. Is this totally out of character for him or something that really doesn’t surprise you. I sometimes think dementia has a way of amplifying the worst character traits in a person. Divorcing a person with dementia may get complicated. You may may have some responsibility regarding his care. So sorry you are in this situation.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 3,426
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    Hypersexuality in dementia, a common symptom often linked to frontotemporal dementia (FTD) or Alzheimer's involves inappropriate sexual behaviors (ISB) like advances, disinhibition, or verbal outbursts caused by brain damage.

    • Medication: If necessary, SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) are typically used to reduce obsessive behaviors and libido.
    • Hormone Therapy: In some cases, antiandrogens may be used to reduce testosterone levels in males with severe cases.

    Note that he could have had dementia for years before diagnosis.
    Lock down all accounts and restrict internet access to protect your assets.

  • vtech1951
    vtech1951 Member Posts: 36
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75840/sex

    I didnt understand a word of this post???

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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