Mom lives across the country & has early stage of dementia

buttonsboomer · April 15

Mother lives across the country and insist she is taking her medications regularly, but her BP says something different. She tells her doctor that she is taking her meds and feels that the doctor is calling her a liar. I know she is not taking them regularly and she meets the criteria of loss memory for the early stage. She can take care of herself and meets her daily needs, i.e. pay bills on time, shower, dress, walk to store and get back home. Ive been reading about automated pill dispensers. Is it worth it? Or is there other suggestions? Trying to call her each morning so we can take meds together, but sometimes she says she has "taken" them already. BTW, Im only child and moving to her is not feasible and she refuses to move here. ANy suggestions would be appreciated.

jgreen · April 16

Hi, @buttonsboomer

I am not in the same situation as you - I am caregiver for my husband. There are a couple of tips I received from others who are caring for a spouse/partner that I can share with you:

I recommend you contact an elder care attorney as soon as you can and talk with this person about your Mom and her living arrangements. They will most likely advise you to get all your Mom’s legal paperwork taken care os while she can still understand power of attorney and healthcare surrogate (and maybe will or trust). This person can also talk with you about placement options for your Mom when it comes to that time when she is not safe living alone. They might have ideas on how to get Mom to agree to move closer to you.

The Alzheimer’s Association might be able to help you locate different agencies that could routinely check in on your mom, and maybe offer ‘meals on wheels’ that usually includes the volunteer staying for a bit to chat and d provide some social contact. I think your Mom needs those wellness checks so someone can ‘eyeball’ her living environment and also her mental and physical appearance.

I do not envy you trying to do this long distance. I hope you can find some resources to look after your Mom and give you some peace of mind. God bless you and your Mom.

caregiving daughter · April 22

I agree with the previous post on investigating local resources. You are doing your best, but you cannot, from a distance, ensure medications are being taken in a safe manner. An attorney and understanding whether there are local resources to help would be the next step. Resources could be community-based or privately paid.

Lee4lyn · May 28

I can highly recommend the Hero pill dispenser. My sister could not manage her medications with pill boxes or daily phone reminders from me. The dispenser is still something she can manage. She is much further along than your mom. My sister cannot do any daily activities without a prompt.

Mom lives across the country & has early stage of dementia

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