To Pee or not to Pee

blacksparky · April 25

I thought I was prepared for the day my DW would become incontinent. A couple of weeks ago I woke up to my DW laying in bed unclothed. Apparently she wet the bed and then took off her clothes and went back to sleep. I got everything cleaned up. I had bought pull ups last month, so I removed all her underware and replaced the drawer with the pull ups. To my surprise she accepted the new “underware” and gave me no problem. She has been wearing these ever since. I now follow her each time she needs to go to the bathroom. She does great during the day, but in the middle of the night, for some reason her brain can’t figure out the steps it takes to actually pull your clothes off and sit on the toilet and urinate. Twice she had pulled her clothes down and then urinated before sitting down on the toilet before I tell her to sit down. She has just finished taking her antibiotics for a UTI. Could the UTI cause this sudden problem or are we at the point that she is now incontinent?

Timmyd · April 25

I have been where you are at. Do not despair. You said she is doing great during the day. At night you said she is making it to the bathroom. You are almost there. What helped me was realizing DW hated accidents as much as I did. We just had to find a routine that worked.

For peeing during the night. DW will wake up and start speaking. That will wake me up and I will ask if she needs to pee. I don't normally get a clear answer, but believe she understands the question. For nighttime pee, it takes DW longer. She seems to need to wake up a bit before she can go. It is annoying for me to have to get up and help/wait for her to get oriented, but it is much better than an accident. Often when she wakes up to pee, we will lay in bed a couple of minutes for her to wake up a bit. Then when walking to the bathroom I start talking her through the steps. In summary, DW seems to need timetime to wake up a bit before she can execute successfully.

cavenson · April 25

A common symptom of UTIs is a sudden and strong urge to urinate. That could definitely have caused a sudden and hopefully temporary problem of incontinence. My DH is being treated with antibiotics for a UTI right now. I'll put in a plug for CVS Health Urinary Tract Infection Test Strips (3 test strips for $10.79). Sometimes you're not sure if the problem is a UTI, and DH often has trouble giving a urine sample at the doctor's office. I was able to get DH to pee on the test strip, and it showed a definite positive. The doctor was able to prescribe an antibiotic just by looking at the test strip. The next day, I was able to take in a urine sample, and a culture is being done.

jgreen · April 25

Hi, @blacksparky

A bedside commode on her side of the bed might help you two in the middle of the night. Worth a try.

And I agree with @cavenson about common UTI symptom. So do check for that to rule out UTI.

White Crane · April 26

I would add that others have layered waterproof pads and bottom sheets or draw sheets under their loved ones side of the bed to make it easier to quickly get back to a dry bed and sleep.

jfkoc · April 26

This is a rough part of the disease!

Please water proof everything including a 6 sided mattress cover…

Biggles · April 27

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/271170#Comment_271170

My DH is in very similar, he wakes, makes noises (he has aphasia so can’t make a sentence) lays still and then with a little prompting gets up. I wake up when I hear him and ask a non question do you want to go to the toilet and say let’s get up, and generally off we go. It’s a shame to break your own sleep but better than the alternative. He had a fall last week broke two ribs so I have had to be very attentive to pain management and pee management, really painful to get up at night but I didn’t want him to loose the pattern of getting up to pee. It’s frustrating for him at the moment because with his dementia he needs to get up and wander around the house two or three times a night as well but getting up to wander is just too painful. Hopefully only 5 weeks to go for the ribs to mend - how exhausting!

To Pee or not to Pee

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