Peeing pants.

MontanagirlCA · April 26

Hello. I feel like I’m drowning. My husband was diagnosed 1/22 with Alzheimer’s. I feel like he is late 5 stage or going into 6. He has peed his pants 2 times now. Does this mean he’s incontinent? Today I tried to get him to put on men’s depends. He refused to put them on. How do I get him to wear them? I’ve been touring long term facilities. To have a plan B. I’m very afraid of using all of our money, and me ending up homeless. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t qualify for Medical. We moved across country to be closer to our daughter. I just feel so overwhelmed and lonely. My daughter helps a lot, but she has her own family and a busy life. This life is just so hopeless. No one understands except all you wonderful people.

blacksparky · April 27

I had the same problem with my DW who wet the bed a couple of times and peed in the bathroom not on the toilet but in front of the sink all over the floor. I did finally get her to wear pull ups by taking away all her underwear and replacing with pull ups. I now have to follow her into the bathroom especially in the middle of the night when she needs to go. I guide her through the steps of going, take pants off, slide pull ups down, sit on toilet etc. So far this is working and she has dry pull ups but I change them every day just like I did with her underwear. I too can’t afford MC so I’ve got to do whatever it takes to keep her home. Will I succeed? Only time will tell and I have a plan B in the works if I can’t give her the care that she can get at a MC facility.

H1235 · April 27

You are smart to start thinking of a plan B now. I would recommend you talk with an elder law attorney. In some states Medicaid will cover mc. There also may be a way to protect some money for you down the road. It really can be very complicated. You might also want to talk with your local commission on aging to see if they offer anything that would be helpful.

jfkoc · April 27

Plan B is esssential to have in place so good for you for looking ahead.

I strongly suggest you get to an Urgent care to get tested for a silent UTI. My husband almost died from one.

Groovy's Girl · April 29

I kept my DH out of Depends for the longest time. One day I just put them on him (since I help him dress anyway) and there was no discussion. I also switched to some nice "sweat-type) shorts. I still take him to the bathroom to pee every four hours. My DH is completely oblivious about his condition.

I don't know where you live, but here in our tiny town the local hospice has a program called, Transitions, for people not ready for hospice. They gave me a lot of helpful lists and tips. ALSO, I made myself go to a support group. Within that, there is a social worker I can call if I have specific needs or questions. Look around your town and see what resources are there for you. HUGS

Jeff H · April 29

I'm not at that stage yet. It's coming… Right now, I ask my DW if she has to pee about every hour. I keep a light over the toilet on and the lights in the bathroom. I placed signs on the wall near the toilet with large arrows pointing to the toilet. That has helped my DW a lot. I did have to remove the trashcan from the bathroom because my DW did use that once to go pee. (I have mentioned this before in a previous post, but I thought it might still be helpful.) I am not looking forward to the next stage, but I'm in this for the long-haul.

MontanagirlCA · April 29

Thank you everyone for all your helpful comments. I can always find answers and help on this wonderful site!

Sunfish47 · May 3

Urinary incontinence was something I’ve been expecting for awhile now and I guess we’ve reached it. DH has had three incidents of bed wetting (thankfully the bed is protected as recommended) and one incident of peeing on the floor (we’re in FL so all floors are tile) next to the bed. So I’ve taken to getting him up about halfway thru the night to use the bathroom. Yes it disturbs my sleep but it’s better than a wet bed.
During the day I remind him about every 2-3 hours to go pee. If I don’t remind him, his brain sends the signal too late. Coming home recently from a restaurant an hour away, and even tho I had him use the restroom right before we got into the car, he announced he had to pee when we were halfway home. I pulled the car over right away. As soon as he stood up and got out he peed all over himself. I now have a small plastic urinal that I will be keeping in the car.
Next step is to introduce pull-ups after I figure out the best way to get his cooperation on them.
He’s my senior citizen toddler. It is what it is. Definitely not the happy retirement I thought we would be enjoying.

elainechem · May 3

My hubby was fully continent until shortly before his death. I never asked him if he needed to go. Every 3 hours or so, I said, "Let's go to the bathroom." Plus, I had him use the toilet every time he was going to leave the house.

Christine Schultz · May 3

My problem is fecal incontinence. Any advice on that?

jgreen · May 4

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/271564#Comment_271564

Hi, @Sunfish47

I recommend you go ahead and buy some pull-ups and replace his underwear with the ‘new ones’. If you search ‘incontinence’ on this site there are several discussions that have recommended products. Right now we are using Depends but DH is not urine incontinent. He has trouble with loose stools and can’t make it to bathroom in time so ‘stains’ the underwear. I found liners “Assurance Men’s Guards” that work well for his situation.

I like the idea of the nighttime schedule and will keep that in mind when that time comes. Thank you!

Sunfish47 · May 4

Thank you jgreen, very soon I’m gonna bring in some pull-ups. I’m gonna review the suggestions on this site. I remember reading that some folks recommended a pull-up that looks very much like men’s underwear. Gotta get ready.
I feel fortunate that so far he still has a pleasant personality, he was always a nice guy in his former life. I hate this disease. Didn’t think I’d have to be doing this in my 70s.

Peeing pants.

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