My DW's mom was going to visit, and then couldn't.

Jeff H · April 26

My DW's mom has Alzheimer's also. She is 88 but she is not as advanced as my DW. My DW's stepdad attempted to drive my DW's mom from Florida to visit my DW here in Indiana. They got as far as Tennessee and had to turn around. My DW's mom got confused and agitated and insisted on going home. I have read that it's nearly impossible to travel with Alzheimer's.

I applaud them for trying. I expected the result.

My DW was so looking forward to the visit that she wanted a new outfit and to get her hair done. She had the day circled on her calendar. They are going to call my DW tomorrow about turning back.

I feel so sad and sorry for my DW. It made me tear-up. I just hope this disease will erase this memory from my DW.

I'm just venting to my friends…

SDianeL · April 26

so sorry for your DW. 😢

Michele P · April 26

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75897/my-dws-mom-was-going-to-visit-and-then-couldnt

I am so sorry. We used FaceTime and Zoom meetings when relatives couldn’t travel. It’s not the same as in person, but it’s as close as you can get.

easy23 · April 26

That's very sad. I hope your DW won't remember.

Quilting brings calm · April 26

It can be extremely hard to travel. My spouse did I did a one way trip from Southern Alabama to Illinois with my mom( MCI plus an undiagnosed UTI). We were moving her back home on an emergency basis. She presented as stage 6. It was awful. I don’t think I could have done it without my spouse. I don’t ever want to repeat it. I know that if it had just been for a visit, I would have turned around too. I can’t image doing that trip at the age your step-dad is and by himself.

Hopefully your wife doesn’t remember. Put her in that new dress and FaceTime her Mom.

EvaBee · April 26

Jeff, I'm so sorry the trip did not work out for your family. It's very sad.

On the side topic of unavoidable moves with advanced dementia - I realize this is not financially possible for many people, but - we had to move my father from South Carolina to Florida because my mother could no longer manage his care. He was in something like Stage 6 with Lewy-body dementia. We hired a private propeller airplane and pilot to move him. Since he already liked flying, he enjoyed the 3-hour flight. We were in such a scramble to get him to the small airport without him realizing what was happening, we sent him to Florida with only bedroom slippers and no shoes! But overall it went very well. We were fortunate that the distance was within the travel range for a prop plane with no refueling stops.

Jeff H · April 27

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/271196#Comment_271196

Yes, we are going to pursue FaceTime. Thanks

Jeff H · April 27

Thank you everyone for the kind comments. My DW didn't remember about the expected visit today. All is good. Now, on to tomorrow…

My DW's mom was going to visit, and then couldn't.

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