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New behavior.. looking for dinner

JC5
JC5 Member Posts: 260
500 Care Reactions Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Likes
Member
in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

Past few weeks DH has been coming into the kitchen every 10 minutes as I am cooking dinner to see if it was ready! He always has an excuse.. I want to see what you are doing. Wanted to tell you I’m going to the bathroom I want to get a drink ( he has one already) . I know he is looking for his food. So I prepare his give it to him and he won’t eat till I have mine ready!! I rush to put his on the plate because he is looking for it while I finish mine and he won’t eat!! Why?

Comments

  • Jeff H
    Jeff H Member Posts: 223
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    Member

    Yes, that is strange behavior. When I prepare a meal for my DW she won't eat it until she knows and watches our dog eat his food. If it's not time for our dog to eat, she won't eat her meal. It's very frustrating.

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 2,342
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    Pwd can become very dependent on their caregiver. They may even become uncomfortable and anxious if they are out of the room. Could this be what is happening?

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 6,940
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    This sounds more like shadowing than seeking food. You framing it as "needing an excuse" and him waiting for you to join him is a pretty strong indicator that it's you he wants. If you were washing the car or cleaning out a closet, he'd find a reason to be in the driveway or bedroom every 10 minutes.

    While shadowing can sound benign on paper, IRL it can be crazy making. You need a break— a day program for him or perhaps someone to come in and keep him company while you go out.

    HB

  • CindyBum
    CindyBum Member Posts: 785
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    I'm with harshedbuzz. That's shadowing…he's looking for you not really his dinner.

    I found my DW's changes around food difficult to manage. She stopped liking what she'd always loved and slowly started to eat less and less. Initially, I could often get her to eat when I made sure to sit and eat with her. Over the course of her last year of life, she had no interest in food at all.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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