Have any questions about how to use the community? Check out the Help Discussion.

Admitting to something you didnt do??

Clystina
Clystina Member Posts: 4
First Comment
Member
in Caring for a Parent

I know that part of being the caregiver for a person with Dementia is being accused of stealing when they misplace stuff, (like shampoo, coats, glasses) etc. When you find the item you are accused of stealing they say "oh no thats the new one I just bought" or they say "you just brought that back after stealing it". Or some times you cant even find the item you are accused of stealing.

I know some say just admit to doing what ever it was they say you did because they will forget about it shortly anyway.

Well not my mom !!! everything that is misplaced is my fault because I stole it. She has now banned me from her home so I can no longer help my stepdad with things.

What are some suggestions on what I can do, once she gets it stuck in her head she will not let go !! so if I admit to stealing the shampoo, or glasses or whatever the next time she misplaces something in a cpl days she will accuse me of stealing it as well. She has even accused my stepdad of stealing $ from her purse but she cant kick him out of the house. He cant do this alone. I usually go over twice a week to bath her or at least wash her hair and put it up. Maybe take her shopping to get her out of the house, or play a game with her for a cpl hours so dad can run errands.

Comments

  • gbutterfly
    gbutterfly Member Posts: 2
    First Comment
    Member
    This is hard...I would say do whatever would keep the peace. Maybe you can say oh my I needed some must've took it by accident. Make her seem like she's helping you? Giving her a sense of purpose and that she's needed?
  • Emily 123
    Emily 123 Member Posts: 987
    Fifth Anniversary 250 Likes 500 Comments 100 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member
    edited May 7

    Awwww…Don't be a thief!
    You have enough on your plate without reinforcing those negative ideas. Get ahead of her by telling her something that seems credible to her. It’s more about finding something that clicks with her. Maybe…'You told me you were going to go look for it and let me know if I needed to get you more—did you find it?"
    It sounds like she might benefit from a medication review by her provider to either initiate or adjust meds to help her navigate this very tough stage. It can’t be comfortable for her to live in a world that no longer has any rhyme or reason, and of course having her be less anxious and spun up will help your dad and you immensely.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

Community Guidelines


Click here to review the ALZConnected Community Guidelines

Categories