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persevere
persevere Member Posts: 226
250 Care Reactions 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments
Member
edited 3:52PM in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

So this is just a vent but probably one many can relate to. It’s not enough that you have to watch your LO whither away piece by piece and be hyper vigilant 24hrs a day with care and feeding but in my case I also get to watch the house we spent 36 years making into a beautiful home become a wreck. I’ve had to move a lot of furniture and items into a bedroom, have to watch walls become scuffed, floors and rugs become dirty with who knows what and learn to live with chairs and furniture moved out of place constantly, broken lamps. It’s everything. It breaks you down. It’s devastating. It’s depressing. Am I being petty here?

Comments

  • David1941
    David1941 Member Posts: 28
    25 Likes Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    You are NOT being petty - just honest, which is hard indeed. Our best to you in this miserable experience.

  • Chance Rider
    Chance Rider Member Posts: 289
    250 Care Reactions 250 Likes 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    No, you’re not being petty. It’s bad enough that we watch our PWD decline, but in my case my home is suffering from neglect as well, painting, new flooring, updating, etc. I’ve had to give up on making any headway and just try to hold things together, myself included. None of us asked to be on this journey and we’re doing the best we can. Sending hugs 💜

  • beachwalker5
    beachwalker5 Member Posts: 15
    10 Comments 25 Care Reactions 5 Likes 5 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Your feelings are totally justified. My DW and I have always been "neat freaks". Lately I feel like I'm sharing a home with a hoarder. There are stacks of papers, books and boxes everywhere. Lots of little paper notes in unintelligible writing scattered all over the house. The pantry is overflowing with multiple items that keep being repurchased. We have six containers of bread crumbs in there! #%&$?!!!! Three of them have already been opened! Ugh! And things get put in really weird places and I have to not react or say anything, otherwise a huge fight occurs.

    The hardest part for me is not the physical disarray. The hardest part is adjusting my own behavior to our new environment and my DW's new reality in order to maintain domestic tranquility.

  • annie51
    annie51 Member Posts: 638
    500 Likes 500 Care Reactions 250 Insightfuls Reactions 500 Comments
    Member

    Many of us can relate to those feelings. My DH moved furniture around a lot, brought outside furniture inside, twisted a pole lamp so badly that it broke…on and on. Yes it’s VERY frustrating. My mantra became “DIRM” - does it really matter - and I had to say that to myself many times. I realized that nothing he did was irreversible or irreplaceable so it helped me to cope. Sending a hug!

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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