Hi new here…

newmoondesign · May 5

My name is Dana, and my husband is in the process of his diagnosis, although we are pretty sure it’s early onset Alzheimer’s as that is an issue on his father’s side of the family. He is upset with a family member right now, unfairly, but there is no way to reason with him. My question is, do any of you have suggestions for breaking his obsessive focus on his anger with his nephew? He has just started displaying this ruminating behavior in the past week. First when he found out a friend is ill, he obsessed over that for days. Now he’s obsessing over this perceived “slight” and is incredibly angry. Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

terei · May 5

Surprisingly, sometimes an apology from the family member does the trick, even if the person has done absolutely nothing wrong. Nephew: “I am so sorry, Uncle for (whatever issue is)! I promise I will never do (whatever) again!” You have to meet the PWD in their own reality even if it is wrong and illogical. You have to let go of what is ‘right’ and do what works. Hopefully, you can convince nephew to try this approach.

Jgirl57 · May 5

welcome; when my DH( dear husband) was started on sertraline ( Zoloft) it helped “ soften” the early anger . Started a low dose and increased as needed. If he has not already started any type of medication , talk to the doctor. Also , be sure to meet with an elder law attorney to get legal papers in order so you can make decisions . Being married isn’t enough to make decisions. You can do a consult without him to get information

Michele P · May 15

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75958/hi-new-here

Welcome. Your husband’s brain is broken. There is no point in arguing points or tying to reason with him. As another has suggested, have the family member apologize for what was never done and move on. Once everyone understands what is going on, it makes this easier. His reality is not yours and never will be again. He believes that what he thinks is the truth and happened. See an elder law attorney asap and get your legal affairs in order while he can still sign documents.

H1235 · May 15

The next time he starts voicing his opinions on the situation you might try to carefully distract him with an activity, a treat or by changing the subject. I know this is pretty lame advice, but unfortunately beyond an apology or medication there is really not much you can do.

Call me Gram · May 16

@newmoondesign

My experience is like @Jgirl57 … when my DH started taking sertraline, it eased his rumination and perseveration/repetition.

At first, DH insisted he did not have anxiety, so he didn't need any medication to treat it. However, his neuropsychologist explained to him that the medication could actually help him think more clearly. So, he tried it and found that she was right.

IME, the difference was that he was no longer pacing and asking me the same question over and over again for hours. He still ruminates, but it is so much more mild than before. Enough so, that he can calm down and be redirected to another focus or activity.

I hope you can find some relief for both of you.

Gram

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