It's never too early to prepare for Stage 8

Regarding displaying items at their service, my DH always collected coffee mugs wherever we traveled. My daughter suggesting displaying the mugs and offer guests to take them.

Thank you to Arrowhead and all others with this preplanning, specifically in financial matters. That list is something I would not have thought to preplan and I’m sure would be quite difficult to process afterwards

Since our credit cards have him as the main cardholder, I am in the process of using my DPOA to be the main cardholder and then take him off the card. 2 of 4 cards have been deleted. One of those was a card I opened early in this disease with a very limited credit amount so he had a card to carry. He never used it but he still had some “control.” Now all he has in his wallet is his ID with my name & number on it, $15 and misc stuff he collects and puts in it. Other institutions, like the our phone provider, I also had to use DPOA.

Thank you for the actually list to go through. I figured the more places I can delete him from now, the less I will need to contact later.

I don’t think it’s unusual. I think it’s lovely to have friends and loved ones admire her creativity and art. This disease takes so much from our LO, what better way to remember them for who they were than to have objects from the former them to enjoy.

Kudos to @Arrowhead for starting this thread. My DH was in MC when another resident, whose wife I got to know quite well, passed away and she had no arrangements made ahead of time. She gave me the advice about doing what you can beforehand but then my DH passed suddenly within a week. I wished I didn’t have to make all those decisions, large and small, that you have to make at the funeral home while in such an emotional state.

There are some great lists in this thread. I had moved his name off as many things as I could while he was in MC so that minimized the number of financial things I needed to take care of after he passed.

Some things I would add to the list - some you can do before, some after:

• freeze credit reports (you should do this for both of you now!)
• Utility accounts
• DMV - to cancel ID or license
• Car titles
• Update beneficiaries

I did find out that once the funeral home has the information, many agencies are notified, including SS.

It is so great you are preparing and covering all these issues.  I recently managed my parent’s estate and would like to add or reinforce the following:

• Death Certificates - Ask for 7-10 originals, since some places insist on originals and they are cheapest and easiest to get up front. 
• Life insurance beneficiaries - Any proceeds pass tax free to the beneficiaries listed on the policy. The beneficiaries on all financial, insurance, and retirement accounts are followed, regardless of what the will states, so be sure all beneficiaries are updated. Once you get a death certificate you’ll send that with a letter detailing the policy information to all life insurance and financial organizations requesting a payout. 
• If their name is on an individual trust holding financial assets or property, you’ll have to apply for an EIN number. Their SSN number will be cancelled, so if they have assets in a remaining trust that require a future tax return, the EIN is needed. (Your estate attorney can apply for one). 
• If they hold investments in their own name (individually or their own trust), the investment basis will reset to the market value on the date of death. You can later sell the investment and won’t be taxed on capital gains, if investments appreciated during their lifetime. (You’ll send a death certificate to the institution and they will reset the bases of all applicable accounts).
• If they hold real estate in their individual trust, get an appraisal effective the date of death, so the value of the real estate is reset to the market value of their if you sell later, any applicable capital gains are calculated from the value on the date of death to the current market.  If the property decreases in value, you can claim a loss. 
• Close all FB, on-line accounts, and email accounts to avoid potential scamming.
• My parents had both written short stories about their childhood and growing up years, so we handed out copies at the funeral.  We also created a picture board with interesting family pictures. 
• If you’d like a video recording of the service, ask for that up front and provide a flash drive.
• You can make a tribute video for the service.  Use your camera to take pictures of old slides or pictures, or go to your local library and use their scanner.  Put the pictures into Photos and if you have a MAC, use iMovie to import and arrange photo, add music, and add title.  You can make a mp4 video file, which can be played during the service and shared with family members who couldn’t attend.  Send the video way in advance, so they have time to test and confirm test. (If this seems too hard, ask a young person to help or visit your local library for advice and maybe they have a tech lab that will help for free).
• Laws can vary by state, but your estate attorney, funeral home, and financial planner can all provide helpful advice.  Plus, you can google what to do in your state to get more ideas.
• Most importantly, celebrate and remember the life that was fully lived.