Aggression

Welcome. Unfortunately I don’t think there is one single simple solution. There are several thing your mom might try. Avoid ( to extremes)any topic that is a source of stress for him. If his car is a source of anger get rid of it or park it so he can’t see it. Change the subject and distract him with a treat or activity. Do things that might upset him without telling him or consulting him. If he always changed the oil on the car and she just has it done at the shop now, she shouldn’t tell him she is going to get the oil changed. She also shouldn’t inform him that this will be done at the shop from now on. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with a therapeutic fib. If he can’t be trusted with credit cards, let him think he lost it. Set up banking on line to avoid statements coming to the house. If he demands to see a bank statement, tell him you’re not sure where you put it, you’ll look for it and give it to him later. Be vague with answers to financial questions that may anger him. Mom would want to buy so much crazy stuff from the store (anti aging cream, hot glue gun, material… ) that I refuse to take her to the store anymore. Actually I just make excuses for why I can’t bring her. It is very important to cut off his access to finance. There are many here that can tell horror stories of losing large sums of money to scammers or unnecessary purchases or subscriptions. You may want to freeze his credit. The most important thing to remember when dealing with a person with dementia is that you can NOT reason with then. Trying to explain why or even giving written proof will not work. If you try they generally don’t believe you and become angry and upset. This usually leads to them sucking you into an argument. If their mistaken beliefs will not harm them or anyone else, just let it go. As much as possible, they are just always right. If he thinks your mom didn’t tell him about a doctors appointment that morning, she should bite her tongue and apologize for forgetting to to tell him (even if she did). If all else fails medication may help. Anxiety is common with dementia and it’s not unusual to have something prescribed. Even with all this, he may just be grumpy through all of this.

https://www.creditkarma.com/credit/i/how-to-freeze-credit

https://iona.org/therapeutic-fibs-ok/