The Behavior is so Unpredictable

yardman49 · May 24

My DW just woke up from an afternoon nap. She accuses me of cutting her hair and stuffing ii onto her mouth. She also caustically accuses me of cutting her gums and teeth. Of course I deny it. Then she screams she hates me and wants me gone! Well I have somehow remained calm. I understand it is the disease. Now she will not eat dinner as she is convinced it has been poisoned and I am trying to kill her. It is what it is and this will pass in about an hour when she calms down.

rmoore512 · May 25

My dw has EO Alz. She has unpredictable behavior also. It can really wear on you. she gets mad at me and can never really say what it is. She just says things like "what you did" or If I ask why she is mad, she says, "yes". ???? I have found over and over again, if I push back any it makes it worse. right now I decided to sit down at my computer and check this board. She will respond well to music and car rides. We have been on at least 3 today. She gets better and then when we get home and walk in, it starts all over again.

ronda b · May 25

I'm so sorry for what is happening. That is really a wild accusation. Did you let her get what ever she wanted out to eat? That might help.

Jeff H · May 25

I by no means want to push medications, but my DW was very similar to this before being prescribed Rexulti. She is now very calm with no aggression. She recently had her annual physical from her primary care physician (not her neurologist), and he too said Rexulti is a great medication.

Stan2 · May 25

My DW tried rexulti for a while, it did seem to work for her but she is diabetic and it raised her blood sugar levels drastically. She is now using auvelity and it seems to work as well. Her problem however, is more one of depression rather than anxiety.

Sunfish47 · May 25

I agree, it sounds like it’s time to find a calming med to help her (and you) get thru these difficult moments.

My DH has just begun, on some evenings, to become very agitated and anxious about: where his family is, where his mother is, where did “all the people” go, where should he spend the night, where is a bed where he can sleep, etc. I told our PCP about this and they’re giving me a referral to a neurologist so I can get a calming med for him.

BPS · May 25

For occasional issues Lorazepam is also a good medication. My daughter that is Bipolar was prescribed Rexulti for delusions, hallucinations, and be violent and it helped a lot without being sedatitve.

beachwalker5 · May 25

Not taking the sometimes hateful accusations personally is one of the biggest challenges for me. It's weird how my DW can wake up in a great mood and by mid-morning she's accusing me of being the cause of all of her problems/ memory challenges/ anxieties/ depression/ loss of freedom (driving), boredom, loss of purpose, hopelessness….frequently telling me "are you happy with yourself and what you've done to me"….Lately I'm doing a better job coping with all of this by avoiding disagreeing with her or trying to talk her out of her feelings (just leads to an argument) and instead responding by hugging, reassuring, expressing love/ commitment/ positivity. Distraction/ redirection occasionally helps as well.

I can see how all of this can really take a toll on us caregiver spouses. I'm planning to seek out psychological counseling soon not just for myself but to better support my DW.

richardb · May 25

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/273128#Comment_273128

It's encouraging to hear that Rexulti can help with aggression. My DW's neurologist started her on a low dose (0.5mg) a few weeks ago, but there's been no improvement yet.

SDianeL · May 25

So sorry you are going through this. It does no good to tell her you didn't do it. That triggers her anxiety. Just apologize and change the subject or offer a treat. Remember you can't reason with someone whose reasoner is broken.

Quilting brings calm · May 25

My mom would wake up from a nap extra confused and anxious too. My son said everyone she woke up it was like it was a new day. Dudn’t matter how short the nap was.

Jeff H · 12:26AM

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/273166#Comment_273166

My DW's neurologist prescribed Rexulti this past February. She started at 0.5mg per day for the first week and then 1mg per day for the next two weeks. Then 2mg per day as the target dose. She still had some aggression and agitation (not as bad as it was) so her neurologist increased the dose to 3mg per day (the maximum allowed). She has been on that without any aggressive behavior or agitation. Does your DW's neurologist have the dosage increase over time like that? That's how it is supposed to work. I hope you find some peace.

The Behavior is so Unpredictable

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