Control of financial power DH has Alz

As far as investments, contact your financial adviser or whoever handles them for you directly. We’ve had the same one for years but, I was concerned my DW would decide to call and want her 401K money withdrawn for whatever reason. I wasn’t that concerned with anything in my name or joint investments. They made notes to the accounts and contacted their legal and security folks. They sent a different type of POA form that I had to fill out and have notarized. They also had to call after that and speak directly to my DW about me being on her account. I did not need anything else for them from her neurologist. I doubt at this point she could actually contact them on her own and coherently tell them what she wanted but, at least I feel better about it. Our financial adviser also stressed the point that I contact an elder care attorney sooner rather than later. I have a meeting with one in a few weeks.

@Cathy coconis

Unless you DH's POA is springing, this is not a strictly medical question. Many neurologists consider questions around issues like money and driving to be outside their purview as physicians. Some refuse to participate in such restrictions in order to preserve their relationship with their patient. Appealing to a doctor as the authority making the decision might not work.

Assuming you have a standard DPOA that allows you to take over finances, you should be good to take steps to secure the accounts. But even if you don't, there are steps you might be able to take to protect yourself now. This is easiest if you are co-owner on them.

Many PWD become very fixated on money. Unfortunately, the skills needed to manage assets— executive function and reasoning, are lost fairly early on so this IADL needs to be one of the first taken over. Some spouses are successful using a professional to take over. Others block access to the accounts from home. This could mean changing passwords for the accounts. Changing the number to which 2-step notifications is sent to your own cell. Changing the WiFi password also helps protect him from email scammers. Sometimes, just slipping the computer or cell phone into airplane mode is enough to shut this down. If he's calling a broker, do alert that person to his medical condition and share the POA with them. Sometimes removing a contact from a cell is enough to stop the behavior.

Please address this asap for your own protection. Mom fought me on getting dad evaluated for a decade while allowing him to (mis)manage their IRAs and brokerage accounts. She told me he was just playing games and looking at Facebook and needed the break. Fortunately, she managed the day-to-day stuff and the two homes. When dad was finally diagnosed and I was able to access their accounts, I discovered that he had lost $360K ($50K he'd been given to invest for my late sister's kids) daytrading in real estate (malls) ETFs— so bad. It's been 8 years since his death, and only last year I found what I hope was the last of his automatic renewals— $8.95/month for insurance on a cell phone he bought in 2003.

Please do whatever it takes to protect your future selves.

HB

Read the Durable power or attorney carefully. I would then take charge as the designated agent working in the background.

Yes, do this as soon as possible.