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Is this anxiety or something else?

ajzjmsmom
ajzjmsmom Member Posts: 45
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My FIL can meet most of his ADL's except for an occasional bathroom accident and dressing correctly. He can feed himself but we have to fix his plate for him and lately he seems to have issues maybe figuring out silverware, we have noticed him using his fingers more. IADL's are another story, as far as I can tell he can't meet any of them.

His big thing is talking all the time, telling the same stories over and over again, right now he is stuck in the Vietnam War era and has about 5 or 6 stories he tells consistently lately. He literally finishes the story, then turns right around and repeats it again. Could this be a sign of anxiety? And if so, could meds help with those behaviors?

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  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 6,932
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    @ajzjmsmom

    It sounds like it might be time to offer as much of FIL's diet in the form of finger food as you can.

    Repetitive stories are very common in dementia. I think this is more a function of poor short-term memory and poor orientation to time & place. FWIW, dad time traveled constantly. Most often he revisited the early 1960s and mid-1070s which were both very happy times for him. That said, the wife of one of our support group members constantly revisited the horrors of WW II Belgium.

    Anxiety, in men especially, looks more like agitation or irritability. Medication can be very helpful for mood and agitation, but it doesn't seem to tamp down repetitiveness IME.

    HB

  • ajzjmsmom
    ajzjmsmom Member Posts: 45
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    thank you, I am not a big fan of meds but know in some instances they will help alleviate some of the behaviors and stresses that dementia brings.

    I haven’t quite figured out why he is stuck in Vietnam considering he was away from his family and dealing with the atrocities of war and wasn’t a particularly enjoyable time in his life or at least that was what he expressed pre dementia.

    For sure dementia has not helped his patience, except now he has no filter and will say something, whereas before he might have recognized that in certain circumstances it behooves one to keep their opinions to themselves.

    After the meeting with the VA social worker who brought up his dementia multiple times, he still maintains he doesn’t have it, which I know is pretty normal in a PWD.

  • SusanB-dil
    SusanB-dil Member Posts: 962
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    Vietnam was probably traumatic. MIL used to dwell on an extremely bad car accident she was in. It seems it is the traumatic that lives in a different part of their brain and can come up very often.

    Agree - your FIL has anosognosia. This is not denial, but rather the total inability to see any deficits.

  • Emily 123
    Emily 123 Member Posts: 987
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    It could be—highly emotional memories are retained. He may be trying to process it, but the disease just makes him cycle back to it, which can't be pleasant. A low dose anti-anxiety or anti-depressant might help. My mom was started on a low dose of Lexapro to help her adjust with a move from AL to MC, and it was so helpful in allowing her to be more at ease. It was a subtle change, but it made me realise that how much stress & anxiety she had been feeling. As typical for her generation she didn't want to 'complain'.

  • evelynwisner
    evelynwisner Member Posts: 4
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    While anxiety can definitely cause repetitive behaviors or restlessness, the combination of cognitive challenges with daily activities (like ADLs/IADLs) and short term memory repetition often points toward underlying cognitive changes rather than anxiety alone.
    Sometimes individuals do repeat stories or fixate on past memories as a coping mechanism when they feel anxious or disoriented in the present. Gently redirecting their focus, using calm grounding techniques, and validating their emotions can help reduce any underlying distress. However, it's best to discuss these specific behavioral shifts with a geriatric physician or neurologist for a proper evaluation. Caregiving through this requires so much patience wishing you strength!

  • SusanB-dil
    SusanB-dil Member Posts: 962
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    this is an older post.

    @mentalhealth You have a LO dealing with 'this'?

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 2,333
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    I really wonder about all these old post being dragged up. This mentalhealth and and jpjardinel are both doing it. I know I have made a mistake like this before (mistakes happen), but after the discussion about ai and these very clinical responses, I just have to wonder if these are real people. If you are and you are reading this I am sorry. I just feel like our space has been invaded and I don’t know what to think.

  • ARIL
    ARIL Member Posts: 559
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    edited September 19

    @mentalhealth Your profile says you are a “passionate advocate for evidence-based mental health support” and that you are “here to listen, share helpful strategies, and support the community.” Please be aware that this is a peer-to-peer forum. Are you our peer? Are you caring for someone with dementia?

    Lately we’ve been getting a lot of unwanted traffic that seems to be AI-generated, and digging up old posts seems to be part of that. Thus your post here looks suspicious. If you are in fact human, I think you’ll understand our concerns.

  • ARIL
    ARIL Member Posts: 559
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    So now the same user is back under a different username? What is going on?

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more