New Phone/Communication issues

Hi Francie,

Since you're seeing him today you'll be able to see if there's any major changes that might be driving this (UTI?). From other posts it sounds like he's been slowly losing his ability to use the phone, so maybe this is a progression.

Over time the person will become more untethered to their environment and what's going on in it. They won't interpret or respond to externals, like a phone ringing. They'll stop being able to use things like remotes and phones.

I don't think it's a question of wanting to keep or lose relationships, it's more that the disease physically removes the ability to maintain those connections-there's no intent behind the lack of response.

Another thing to think of is that the disease can change how things sound to a person, and eventually face-to-face conversations work best. He might not be able to make sense of a disembodied voice coming from a phone—you could call one of your family on your phone during the visit & put him on the line to see if he can have a conversation. If he can't, I'd just let his friends know. If he can, then you could set something up with his friends where you call them during your visits with your dad. The facility might also be able to give you a 'house' phone # friends can call and the staff will take the phone to your dad. Good luck.

Agree with both Emily and April. Your dad's story sounds like natural progression of his dementia. I can relate to the pain of the apathy you are seeing too. You are right, it's the disease, but it hurts when someone who has always loved and supported you no longer takes an interest in your life.

Wow, @FrancieNolan! What you are experiencing is EXACTLY what I am.

Mom is almost completely unable to use her phone. Up until last week Wednesday, she was living in an ILF. I was finding it increasingly annoying that her friends & relatives were calling me due to their inability to reach her. I had to tell them that I am having the same problem as they are.

I have the privilege howe er, of being able to speak with her via the Ri g camera I set up. To test my hypothesis, I would call mom from my landline, while viewing her on the camera. I observed callers (myself included) getting one of three outcomes.

1. Phone would ring from a nearby table, or sometimes while in her lap. She apparently no longer associate the sound with that of a ringing phone, so call goes unanswered.
2. Phone rings. She forgets how to swipe to accept call, misses call, then gets distracted by whatever she was doing prior to the 'noisy disturbance' and never calls the caller back.
3. Phone rings. She misses the call by the time she is able to figure out how to answer it. She does not remember to check call log to know who last caller was, then invariably calls me, saying, "Sorry I missed your call." Sadly, it wasn't my call she missed.
4. As far as txt msgs, on the now rare occasions when she remembers that the msg app is located at the bottom of her "Home Screen," she has forgotten how to recognize unread msgs in her inbox. She no longer reads them. Most times, I am the one reading and responding to her msgs, many days after they were sent.

We now live together. I am no longer freaking out when she does not answer her phone. I now KNOW with a certainty that it is no one of importance. Her only child, her only son-in-law, and only grandchild now know for certain where she is, and how she is, at ALL TIMES.