Appt with CELA tomorrow

When we visited the lawyer mom had just been diagnosed. The doctor suggested she see a lawyer as soon as possible before things get too bad. Mom didn’t understand the need to rush and was annoyed I had set things up so soon. The lawyer reassured mom that the DPOA does not take away her ability to make financial decisions it just gives me the ability to make decisions too. This helped convince her. Of course it was not long after the papers were signed that I had to take away her access to money. I would not mention mc or any of your plans. She is just not going to understand the need. Mom didn’t think that the DPOA was going to change anything. She saw herself as being perfectly capable of managing things herself. I have found that my mom alway takes suggestions and recommendations from a professional (doctor, lawyer) better than if I make the suggestion, so you might want to just let the lawyer bring it up. If necessary suggest it will be something you may need down the road and it won’t hurt. I find with mom that if I push too much, she pushes back and gets angry and defiant. If you have any questions for the lawyer that you think your mom might be confused or even upset by, I should make a separate appointment and deal with that later. I think respite care and some time to tour facilities is a good idea. At one point early on in the craziness I was filling out some paperwork. I was so stressed I didn’t even know my own phone number and had to actually called my husband to ask him. I probably shouldn’t have been driving that day. I hope you can find a good facility that has an opening soon.

I agree with ARIL that presenting it as organizing things in case of an emergency lets you present it like you're asking instead of telling, which tends to go over better.

The beginning part of this journey is so difficult. My mom had neglected every aspect of her life before she was finally diagnosed. Her glasses were held together with tape, she hadn’t been to a hairdresser in 6 months, her cpap broke 10 years ago but she refused to get a new one, she had lost weight and had almost nothing that fit her, she hadn’t seen a dentist in ages and her front tooth had a big chip in it, her house was a disaster, she needed to see a lawyer, the diagnosis required visits for imaging bloodwork and different specialist, my brother was oblivious and did almost nothing to help, I could go on and on. I was so incredibly busy. She did not want me to help her with anything and was angry with me all the time. I honestly don’t know how I did it. I had no idea what I’m doing (every obstacle is something new I have to learn how to navigate). I’m so thankful for the people here who have helped me. The pressure and responsibility are overwhelming. The work load has lightened now that she is settled, but the pressures is still there. You will get through this. You can do it!

"Are there reputable people/companies that will find a MC facility that meet criteria that you establish for you for a fee??" Yes a geriatric case manager or professional conservator will be familiar with local homes.

The elder law attorney probably knows of some they have worked with in the past.

Two visits - usually a few weeks apart is fairly standard . It provides the lawyer with documentation the LO was aware , to the degree they are, and consistent in their wishes should issues arise later.

A living trust is usually much easier to manage during and after the person's life time . Check if that avoids probate(it should) -another headache avoided.

On respite- a fib you are going to a foreign country for work/help a sick friend and can't get her a visa in time? City is tearing up the street sewers at your house —then she goes to a respite MC/AL and stays there or goes to your home of choice -with no return to your house may work.