Explaining the Concept of Time

Dear @alifre So glad you have learned from this group and that you took a chance and posted.

I am not sure my experience will bring any good news to you. A while back I did buy a ‘dementia clock’ for DH (Late stage 5). The clock has large face digital numbers with the Weekday, Month Year, and if it is ‘morning, afternoon, evening, night, and before dawn’ in smaller font. For a while I would find my DH looking at the clock and If I asked him what time it was he could tell me. Today he doesn’t even look at it and it is probably because it has lost any meaning for him. He has no sense if it is morning, afternoon, or evening, particularly if he recently awakened from a nap or sleep. Daylight or lack of daylight does not matter.

He does not ask questions about time or what the numbers mean. But he does have other questions like “where are you going today?” Or “What are your plans?” I think either he wants to be a part of my plans or else he has something he wants to do and is ‘testing’ to see how I might react to his request. More times than not he wants to go to work or go to the store to buy some weird gizmo he thinks he needs. I am learning every day how to respond that does not belittle or upset him. But sometimes I end up saying ‘no’ and that usually doesn’t end well either. But the questions still come.

My best advice is to get accustomed to answering the repeat questions and then see if you can divert your DH somehow. You will figure out what works, but that too may be short lived and you will have to find another tactic, And I am sure there is another in this great group that may have better news/advice for you.

God Bless you and your DH.

@alifre

I sorry. This sounds really frustrating for both of you.

I found when dad got stuck on things, it was best to remove the trigger. Sadly, in stage 6 out of sight is often out of mind.

Time is an abstract construct, so explaining it to someone whose abstract reasoning skills are challenged, and worsening is going to be upsetting for you both. I agree with Gothic— create a reason to get it away from him. Perhaps it needs a new band or the battery replaced.

Sometimes being stuck is a manifestation of anxiety. Treating that with something like an SSRI might help.

HB

You may want to consider whether her having access to the internet, financial papers and phones is a good thing unless there is no way for anyone not on a managed list to reach her. It will remove stress triggers for her also making your life calmer too.

Scammers live for this opportunity - granddaughter needs bail money , grandson a ticket home etc. They say "Grandma"in a text She says "Sammy?" "Yes " and the game is afoot.

Not sharing about future plans also removes stress. It puts all the planning and work on you , but at some point it's easier to handle all that yourself and not have to coordinate all that anyway and then deal with her questions and stress leading up to the event . And yes, it is very lonely & sad, when you can't plan things with your life partner .