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One more time

Ed1937
Ed1937 Member Posts: 5,114
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Just thought I'd drop in to say "Hi", and share a little story about what's been going on with me. Seventeen days will mark four years since DW passed. Yes, there is life after dementia. Following is a little story some may find worth reading.

Feel free to skip this post anytime. I'm not even sure why I'm sharing it.

About a six weeks or so ago, I took two of my daughters to Whiting, IN to show them what I grew up with. Anyhow, I'm an 88 year old man, and I pointed out a place at the Community Center where I would meet a girl I went to school with. To say that our talks would at times last for over an hour would be accurate. We were both seniors in high school, and I'm pretty sure she was engaged, to be married sometime after school was over, so there was nothing romantic with us. Just real good friends.

It's been 71 years since I've talked to her, and one of my daughters suggested that I try to get in touch with her again. Even though her name changed, I knew who she was going to marry, so I had something to go on. After about two weeks of searching for her, I found an obit for her husband. When I read it, it said he was survived by his wife (but it was not her), and two sons., with their general locations listed. But the obit was from 2004, so I had no idea if it would even be possible to get in touch with them. I wrote a letter to an address I found in N Las Vegas, but didn't know if it was current. After maybe two weeks, I found that the other son worked for the city of Whiting. With a little luck, I was able to get his phone number (again, I didn't know if it was current). So I called, leaving a message because there was no answer. I explained who I was, and that I would like to talk to his mother one more time, if possible. He actually called me back!

His mother, with dementia, is in long term care in Florida, and he was going to visit her soon. He and his brother meet there to handle whatever needed to be done each year.

So he went there, and told his mother about me. She didn't remember me, but that's OK. She wrote a whole page in my yearbook, which I still have, so I took a pic of that page, and sent it to him. He said he would read it to her, in hopes of bringing back a memory.

Then I actually got to talk to her again! Still not sure if she remembers me, but she was very upbeat and enthusiastic when speaking to me, I was surprised that her voice was as strong as mine (very good), and I think I made her feel special for at least a few minutes. I'm so glad I took the time to find her, and I would encourage others to do the same.

As always, I think of you often, and I hope your trials have become a little easier. You're all heroes!

Comments

  • blacksparky
    blacksparky Member Posts: 424
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    It’s good to hear that there is life after dementia. I’m just thinking about my life with my DW and her dementia. After spending who knows how long caring for my LO I’m thinking I will have re socialize myself back into my renewed life.

  • Dio
    Dio Member Posts: 953
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    Ed, it's always good to hear from you. And a beautiful story, it is. I'm so glad you're able to live life again after dementia care. Your story is quite touching. And I'm sure your action elevated your friend's mood, even for that small moment of remembrance.

  • Karen711
    Karen711 Member Posts: 296
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    That’s a beautiful story Ed, thanks for dropping in and sharing it. I think every connection makes a difference.

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 892
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    What a beautifully touching story. There is perhaps life after this awful disease.Thankyou so much for sharing. Wishing you all the best.

  • White Crane
    White Crane Member Posts: 1,246
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    Ed, thank you for sharing this story with us. How kind of you to share your yearbook page with your friend's sons. I'm sure they will treasure it. I'm glad you got to speak to her one more time. You probably brought her a few moments of joy even if she didn't quite remember you. God bless you.

  • ladyzetta
    ladyzetta Member Posts: 1,411
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    Hi Ed.

    It's nice hearing from you. Sounds like your doing well. Thanks for sharing this with us. Im sure you made her feel special for a few minutes. Maybe call her a few more times. Just to make her feel good. I bet she will remember you. Hugs Zetta

  • easy23
    easy23 Member Posts: 443
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    Thanks Ed. So nice to hear from you and that you're doing well. Keep checking in with us!

  • Jgirl57
    Jgirl57 Member Posts: 898
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    Such a wonderful story! Thank you for sharing. So good to see your name again.

  • Joe C.
    Joe C. Member Posts: 1,028
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    Ed, Good to see your post and glad to hear you are staying active and engaged. Hang in there my friend. Joe C.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 3,421
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    Thank you for sharing this with us. Good to hear from you. Please keep in touch. 💜

  • howhale
    howhale Member Posts: 396
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    Wonderful story, so generous of you to do the hard work to find her and then to brighten her day again. A love story (not romantically as you said) but a good friend bringing a smile to another. That is a very good friend and I hope her family realizes and appreciates the treasure you gave to her. Thanks for sharing with us.

  • Beachfan
    Beachfan Member Posts: 842
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    Hi Mayor Ed! Great to hear from you and happy that you’re staying active and engaged. At 3 years into stage 8, I, too, have been reconnecting with “old” friends. High school buddies and even a childhood playmate from summers at the beach. It’s fun to reminisce and laugh (and cry) over old memories. Stay young at heart and inquisitive- - it suits you! 💕💕

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more