No more eating out

Joyfuljoyful · June 16

I am just venting- my DH is in mid to late stage Alzheimer’s disease. We have always enjoyed eating out with family and friends and this was a great opportunity for social connections until past months. DH has become a messy eater and no longer appropriate to take him out- plus he sits kinda hunched over with head down and doesn’t talk. He does enjoy eating. Anyway, feeling sad to be missing out on these connections. Such a difficult disease to witness up close.

Marla13 · June 16

I understand completely. It is difficult for my husband to eat out as well, mostly because he lost all of his top teeth and he just cannot wear dentures and implants were unsuccessful. I got him a food processor for home to grind his meat. Still he sometimes tends to choke up some of his food. It is sad but I try to get out to have lunch as often as I can with my friends.

dayn2nite2 · June 16

As the disease progresses, their world becomes smaller and smaller. It is not necessary that you completely give up eating out, though. Please start looking into options for care while you continue to go out and enjoy meals with family. Don't let this disease take two people.

harshedbuzz · June 16

If it's close family, adult children or your own siblings, perhaps they are less bothered by this than you are. You could ask. You might find he does better in a smaller group of 1 or 2 other people.

There's a small family-owned Italian pizza and restaurant DH and I sometimes frequent that is less than a mile from 3 MCFs and a SNF. If you get there earlyish there are almost always a couple of PWD having a meal out with a spouse or an adult child & their family. The staff is awesome with them and nobody else seems to mind notice or mind.

HB

CharlieS · June 16

Oh my gosh, JoyfulJoyful, I could have written that ! I decided about six weeks ago no more eating out, My DH is the same way. This is the crummiest disease !

blacksparky · June 16

We are in the same boat as all of you. I try to always look at the positives in every challenge. I guess the positive here is that I now realize how much money we spent going out and now it’s money saved. 🤔😂

Jeff H · June 16

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/275058#Comment_275058

Same here. 🤣

BikingOldMan · June 17

As I prepare for DW and I to go on a trip tomorrow that includes a scenic train ride with Chef prepared meal, and then to meet up with my 90+ cousin, who has not seen my DW in her current condition, I am both excited and worried. It’s a real mixed bag.

persevere · June 17

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/275058#Comment_275058

exactly what I was going to say

Chance Rider · June 17

@Joyfuljoyful. Vent away…this is the perfect place to share your feelings, we understand!

Last week a good friend of mine asked if my husband and I would like to meet her and her husband at a local burger joint. She has an idea of my husband’s cognitive decline however her husband doesn’t. I found myself explaining that I’d love to but also that my husband lacks any semblance of social skills. I was so relieved when she told me it wouldn’t matter to her or her husband. It’ll be the first time my husband and I have eaten out together in over a year. Mostly it’s been to-go meals.

I hope you don’t isolate yourself and that you find something that works for you.

H1235 · June 17

What you order for him might make a big difference. Some meals are more difficult to navigate. Finger foods like chicken strips and fries would probably be a lot easier than lasagna or a big sloppy burger.

Maru · June 17

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/76290/no-more-eating-out

I hate to see you give up something that you enjoy. Could you find a table or booth out of the public view and perhaps seat your DH with his back to the public and then just order things that aren't too messy? Or, option 2, find someone to stay with him while you eat out with your family.

Barbie300 · June 17

I have started ordering nice meals occasionally from more expensive restaurants and we eat at home. It may cost a little more but there are several more upscale restaurants in our area that are available for delivery on DoorDash, Uber Eats, etc. You don’t have to just order pizza and such from these apps. It saves a lot of hassle vs going there.

Sunfish47 · June 17

My DH stage 5, is also a bit embarrassing to take to a regular restaurant. Last month we met a couple we used to socialize with at a Greek restaurant in their town. It was an hour drive. Of course he couldn’t remember why we were driving or our destination or who we were meeting.
I had to make sure he used bathroom before we left and then again as soon as we get to the restaurant.
I order for him, usually whatever I order for myself so he doesn’t complain if his food is different. He’s still doing the shadowing thing so always copying me. When the food is served I make sure to cut his food into small pieces, and keep my eyes on him to make sure he’s okay.
He can’t follow the conversation to participate but I think he’s glad to be somewhere and to listen.
Yes he is messy, and puts unusual condiments on his food and then might not eat it (like too much hot sauce even tho I tell him not to). But his appetite is small these days so he gets enough to eat.
So we don’t go to regular restaurants much anymore, but he can still function okay eating inside at Burger King or Dunkin. And he does like to get out of the house.

No more eating out

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