Are there any positive experiences for Memory Care?

@pjasso

My aunt positively blossomed in memory care. She was in mid-stages when she was placed. Before joining the community, she was living alone and was very isolated and anxious. She wasn't eating well and her hygiene wasn't great.

Her sister moved her to a lovely CCRC where she started in MC but often was included in AL's crafts, activities, and days-out. The socialization, healthy diet and assistance with ADLs reduced her anxiety. Her function improved with the move and she was happier.

HB

By the time my mom moved to MC, I couldn't say she was happy ... the apathy of dementia had taken over ... but it seemed to give her the peaceful environment that she needed, and she appeared to be content most of the time. The activities and chatter in the AL had become too much for her, she no longer had the skills to socialize and interact, so MC suited her better at that point. She actually sat in the common area at MC more than she had in AL, I think because there was less commotion.

My mother has been in MC for 10 months. It has given her a new lease on life that I never would've thought possible for someone with dementia. We made the decision to move her to MC when she required 24/7 supervision. There was a waiting list for MC for about 10 months, during which time she had 3 shifts of caregivers. As time went on, she was having more frequent falls, losing her ADLs, communication skills, zipping through stage 5 in a matter of months, and dipping a toe in Stage 6. 96 at the time, I didn't think she'd see her next birthday.

Living in an environment designed for people with dementia and staffed by people knowledgeable about dementia who love their jobs, Mom has positively blossomed. She is now 97 and much better physically and cognitively. Ten months later, she's still in early Stage 6.

Always the social butterfly, she is once again in an environment where she can interact with a lot of people and stay busy with a variety of activities. The initial transition was tough and required some extra meds for a few weeks. I knew we'd turned a corner about a month in. I was walking her into the dining room, and a table of ladies were smiling and waving at her to come sit with them. She'd made friends - that made me so happy! When the dementia started, her friends sort of disappeared, though to be fair, most of them had already died off.

She gets to go on field trips. She proudly shows me her art projects, and her favorite activity is playing in the MC band. Prior to dementia, she would've been too self-conscious to attempt such things. She has smiled more in the past 10 months than in the previous 3 years, when her dementia journey started.

Now, if I were to ask her if she wanted to go home (I don't), she would probably say "yes", because in her mind, she does not realize she needs help with all her ADLs. One day, out of the blue, she said "I'm probably too old to live at home anymore. The people here are nice and the food is good. We do some fun things sometimes." I've told my husband if I get dementia, don't feel guilty moving me to MC. From what I've seen with my mom, I think I'd be good there, even though I'm a bit of an introvert.

My DH has been in MC 9 months. I moved him out of the first one due to the facility being poorly run. This one is much better. I couldn't have provided the care that he needs at home. His room is his home now. They have activities and he had been on field trips. He's more active than he would have been at home and safer. It was the most difficult, gut wrenching thing I've ever done. But, I really like where he is now and I know he's cared for.

I read dbarrylewis' post and they said on their LO's MC : "They do a great job of making sure she’s clean and active all day and eating healthy. " Doesn't sound sad to me.

I think a lot of people look at MC through their lens - that they'd dislike a locked unit, not getting out much, having a fixed routine. Exactly the framework and support a PWD needs. Changes and a lot of input creates stress for the decaying brain .