Neurologist Visit for mom

Welcome. I think that’s pretty awful that the neurologist won’t talk with you in private. When I first took mom in I brought up some difficult stuff that mom didn’t want to hear. She was very angry. It was a quiet ride home. Since you need her to declare your mom incapacitated, her rage toward you (hopefully in the office) might actually work in your favor. Did you get the paperwork you needed? I eventually discovered I could use moms patient portal to communicate with the doctor. In fact, at the first visit they linked my portal to hers somehow to make it easier. You might also try to write a note or list of symptoms or concerns and give it to the front desk before the appointment. I have done this also. When faced with upsetting mom or not giving the doctor all the information needed I went with upsetting mom. My mom is upset with me about everything anyway. It was still really hard. I ended up seeing my own doctor for anxiety medication. I’m glad you found our group.

If you are on the HIPPAA list and the neurologist won't speak to you alone for any reason then find another neurologist…one that specializes in geratrics. My mom's neurologist was of no help helping us manage my mom's symptoms. We begged for medications to help with behaviors and was told by the nurse "we don't really do that here". This was after a fall and mom was declining cognitively even though physically she was healing. If you haven't already, consult with a geriatric psychiatrist. They are able to better manage and monitor medications and maybe provide some additional emotional support that a neurologist cannot. My mom's geriatric psych practice is also the in house provider for our hospital. As a matter of fact, the hospital geriatric psychiatrist was one of the doctors that confirmed her incapacitated. In my opinion, you are in probably the most difficult stage. They are losing their independence and are trying to hold on. My mom is still resisting and agitated about her circumstances and she's been in MC for 10 months. She is between a level 5-6 and can dress herself, use the bathroom, bathe and feed herself. She has paranoid personality disorder, delusions, agitation and depression. She absolutely hates MC and talks about leaving every visit. We tell mom fiblets because she would go off her rails if we shared everything with her. She has anosognosia. It's what we have to do to keep them safe. My mom gave up driving without much of a fuss five years ago after a hospitalization. My sister and I drove her to do errands and she was ok with that surprisingly. We thought we would have a fight on our hands. So now she's very mad that she cannot live on her own and blames me and my sister despite us moving her three times in 8 years (not including MC). I feel for you and understand.

Wow! So I see it’s common for providers to not want to provide medications, for the cognitive symptoms . We have had to wait since Jan to see a Neurologist Cognitive MD , since scheduling my parent has had ischemic stroke and has ‘ fluid’ in ventricles of brain . No one wants to give medication to help with cognitive, even tho she got a 9/30 on MOCA test last Sept, 3 MRI ‘S indicates atrophy. My parent has seen Neuro surgery regarding the fluid on the brain, for possibly a shunt , but we were told ‘ no go’ for that . Due to the atrophy 1st portion front of brain , still NO diagnosis of Dementia tho .
Stage 5/6 probably now with shuffle, incontinence,unable to dress self . With me very hateful attitude due to I’m the daily caregiver.
Seems as if most providers do not want to step up , thankfully a NP in her primary care providers office has been the most helpful ,she ordered initial MRI . The healthcare coverage does not seem to have geriatric psych, or geriatric specialists. But I will ask .