"Fairly successful" outing to Museum yesterday

pjasso · July 17

My mom (early-mid ALZ) lives in AL (without support, but has restrictions, not allowed to leave building w/out family) had tried to sign up to go into San Francisco in the AL van to see the Monet & Venice exhibit, but the AL appropriately didn't let her go, telling her it was booked. The residents are not chaperoned, just transported. So I took her yesterday, first out to lunch, then to the museum. She really enjoyed it, but it was stressful for me. The last two times we ate out with her, she immediately wants her side salad or garnish (on her plate) OFF her plate, saying, "I don't want that". She tries to put it on a napkin, but I got her a side plate to scrap it off. She does so with agitation that it was even there. But we got through lunch without any other issues.

The exhibit was crowded, but she did well navigating her walker. I had to do her audio device for her. She enjoyed it, but only visited the larger "prettier" pictures and looked at each for about 30 seconds, even though the audio for each piece was several minutes. She had a very short attention span. I'm sure she had trouble processing of listening to the audio. She just breezed through most of the museum. I'd ask her, "Do you want to look at those?" and she would say, "No, I don't need to." We were in and out of the exhibit in 20 minutes— whereas it took my husband and I over an hour when we went. I'm glad she went and enjoyed it.

She gets to go to the Disney Museum at the SF Presidio this Sunday, but I either have to go or hire her a chaperone at $65/hour. So she is going in the AL van, and my husband and I are going in our own car. I haven't told her I'm going yet. I think she would be annoyed that she was being "babysat". So I'll tell her the day before that we wanted to go too and got ourselves tix and say, "Hope to see you there!".

So, all in all, so far the first outing was good for her (harder on me), and we'll see about the next one this Sunday.

The AL offers scenic drives and we have a lot of nice drives in the SF Bay Area, but my mom has NO INTEREST in "just driving around" and not being able to get out and "do something", even though my mom has always liked taking drives- but she wants it to result in doing something. I tried to coax her saying it would be nice to get out of her apartment- but she'll have none of it.

Victoriaredux · July 17

Here is a video of the Monet & Venice exhibit, when it was in Brooklyn , before it went to San Francisco. Sound is just crowd noises. So having music or silence may be more enjoyable. I included a Debussy piano video below the Museum.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZF6koAyPAQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuGrV0ADzOQ

Enjoy

H1235 · July 17

I’m glad it went well. I think you are making the right decision by not telling her you will be going to the next one until the last minute. Spinning it in a way that allows her to believe you are there for your own interests is also a good idea. I hope the next one is as successful.

lilacgirl · July 17

Sometimes I wish I could get my mom together with some of the other moms I read about here! They sound so similar, I bet they'd get along! :)

Emily 123 · July 17

It sounds like it went well—the decreased ability to do things for a 'usual' amount of time takes some getting used to, but the main thing is that she enjoyed herself. She's given you a good idea of how much she can take in, which is great.

I think you'll find that she'll be less able over time to process any questions about your just showing up. The inability to retain more information beyond the 'here and now' may mean that she accepts that you're there, rather than inferring you think she needs help. I think you saw a little of that when she was viewing the exhibit as well, things can become very "Yup, okay…Next!" rather than trying to absorb information..

I found that this stage was the most work in terms of navigating the gap between what my mom thought she could do, or told me she wanted to do, and what her decreased focus and difficulty processing lots of input made feasible. You'll really hone your skills in agreeing, deflecting, shrinking down the scope of things, and pretending that things are fine.

Smaller and quieter outings kept my mom in a better humor. Things where she could observe but not have to interact were best, I think because interactions would force her into not being able to process conversations or make decisions.

It's funny you mention how your mom is with her food—My mom became more particular about how her food was presented too. She no longer liked her food to touch or be combined. She used to enjoy a good stir-fry or rice/pasta bowl, but that ended. I had more success going back to the basics she grew up with (a meat and two contrasting vegetables) than trying anything new.

pjasso · July 18

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/277614#Comment_277614

That would be great!
There are only about 3-4 residents in her AL that are "like her" and I'm told by the director that they do find each other!

"Fairly successful" outing to Museum yesterday

Comments

Commonly Used Abbreviations

Community Guidelines

Categories